The American Recession. . .

THE US RECESSION

An American girl-friend told me that the recession has hit everybody really hard, she said that. . .

Her neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

She saw a Mormon with only one wife.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their own children's names.

Her cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali  pirates.

And, finally....

She said that she was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, her savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., that she called the Suicide Hotline; she got a call centre in Pakistan, and when she told them she was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if she could drive a truck.

~ m8ed   J