How To Become A World Wide Chess Celebrity - The Steps!

1st Step:

Pick yourself a cool name. Not the "Chess Player" or "Mysterious Guy". People would say 'Gosh, what an unoriginal name' and 'this one's no worth watching out for'.

The name has to be short but not too short: a one that isn't too difficult to remember. But if you do put yourself a large name, like Wagga Wagga Super Chess Mysterious Player, make sure you have a shorter nickname.

2nd Step:

Try to be funny, and if not, original. Also be rich. Maybe give away a hundred dolars to the one who beats you. Then, of course, try to be good at the game or you may become poor on the first day. 

3rd Step:

Clothe yourself. If you have a cool name, you're funny but you dress like Superman, maybe people will be... flattered, begging your pardon, to be presented to Superman and play chess with him.

Nah just kiding. If you dress like Superman no one will take you seriously, but we'll talk about this in the Fourth Step.

I said don't dress like Superman, but don't dress normal either. Pick yourself a nice chess-coloured suit (wich is chess colour!?) and you'll be fine. 

People have to say 'Nice suit, mister' sometime or you can consider yourself a loser.

4th Step: 

Make sure they take you seriously (but not too seriously). 

In the 2nd Step I said you should be funny, but, careful, not laughed at. The whole point of this goes down if you start impersonating a duck or something. 

5th Step (There won't be many more Steps, I promise):

Drive a Ferrari or a very old car. For this you must complete Step 2 in wich I say you should be rich.

6th Step

Don't be very hard on the people you lose to. Just give them the money and don't say anything (remember you said you would give a hundred dollars to the one who beats you).

7th Step

No one must know who you are until you are very famous. Then you can reveal your identity and win money in the publicity (maybe not, but don't you think about the money), you're already rich.

This are the steps to become a celebrity. If you don't fulfill them, then I daresay you'll have the same possibilities to be a celebrity anyway.