Co-authoring a Blog Post with a Friend: The Nasty Queen's Defense

Co-authoring a Blog Post with a Friend: The Nasty Queen's Defense

Mar 29, 2012, 5:12 AM |

Philoni’s Analysis

Warning for your consideration: The following post is made only for fun; it doesn't contain a real chess defense, but rather just a funny interpretation for the role of a queen in a game." 

It has been my goal in chess to improve, to come up with unique ideas, and yes, to win games of course... Perhaps my most celebrated accomplishment this last year, was the discovery of a truly ingenious strategy, one that is both a defense and an attack at the same time. We (meaning I and Nerry) called it, the Nasty Queen’s Defense (Nasty because the queen here is far from being nice, friends or foe)... Now before one can apply that defense, knowledge of this strategy’s rules is mandatory, and they are pretty simple:

  •  The queen’s development. Never develop your queen before all of your minor pieces. This is given of course;
  •  Strategize where the queen will be placed. Develop your queen to an essential square in the game, from which she can cover all important parts of the board, and never to a square of low importance. (How do you determine the square’s level of importance? You still connected to the Internet? Please feel free to goggle them, and then you’ll know. As soon as you find out, do enlighten me.);
  •  Free lunch, maybe not. Accept the idea that pawns and minor pieces can be sacrifices for what appears to be "No Compensation at all ", but in reality it would be an improvement in the position of your Queen, the most important piece out there; and of course
  • Empower your queen. When the chance to capture an opponent's piece come up, do it with the queen whenever possible, that way she will feel more powerful than ever. In other words, bloat her ego, and make her feel what she really is, the “queen of the show”. Then she will act like the queen for real...

After you get those rules all soaked up in your brain, the defense strategy comes up almost effortlessly, you will see your Queen flying out and about, killing, pinning, and defending pieces, while ultimately, mating the opponent's king if SHE lived enough to do so.

Here is an example of that defense, being employed by both sides, each on their own, and perhaps the white's Queen was a bit more “Athletic".

So as you can see, most of the moves for both side were involving the queens, “especially that for White“, although it doesn't matter which side won, it matter to know that the Queens were the "Kings” in that game...

From NerryAugustin, a conclusion

The Nasty Queen’s defense was developed as a response to a stress induced by a queen that is full of herself (being old and suicidal that she is). She forgot to take into consideration the following points:

  • Attack might be the best defense, but hey, how can you leave your king unattended? That is a no no. You might attack the opponent all you like, as long as your king still lives to see another day. In other words, make sure you still have a castle to go back to.
  • An exchange (her being suicidal and all) is not always necessary especially if you will end up in a nasty position after that.
  • The best defense against the nasty queen, is the cool king attack, meaning he sacrifice himself to gain tactical advantage and along with it the collapse of a whole kingdom. Hahaha.

Cheesy the bug’s comment:

You crazy kids, stop talking nonsense already! You are wasting my time reading a post that confused me further than I already am!