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Waiting in Vain for You

Waiting in Vain for You

Mar 20, 2012, 3:40 AM 4

The queen, in vain, waiting: In your absence I've waited. How long, i can only but wonder. I fight this emptiness, a space without color, without laughter, the pain of being numb.

The knight, ashamed of going back: Death is sweeter than shame for I'd rather die than bear the look in those eyes full of wonder. How could you think that I can never be a coward,when I am. I am afraid of deaththat is closing on me now..

Rationalizing on things: I know he is scared sometimes. But courage is not about not feeling fear, but knowing how to handle those insecurities. Those emotions are beautiful. And how can he deny himself of the need to hold on to something, of the fear of losing what are important to you. I am a coward. Because I don't want to ever lose something that completes me.

Denials: My absence is insignificant. I can only serve but one purpose, to defend her, and her alone. She' doesn't need me. How could she. She's a capable woman. She'll survive. Even without me. How could I be selfish then, hoping she'd wait.. That I'd had something to go back to.. That I would always have her.. When I can't even fight my own fears..

Fear: He had his faults. It must be an insecurity for him that I hold more power than he has. As if i wanted it to begin with. And the truth is, I don't, and I wont if I can. In his absence i wait here. Until when... Until when..


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