The Lamentations of Cheesy the Bug

The Lamentations of Cheesy the Bug

Mar 22, 2012, 3:35 PM |

I don’t mean to share this one. However, the bug, has been bugging me to do so for some time. So I said, “Are you crazy?! My blog post is in a chess site and is not supposed to share your crazy ideas in there. Look somewhere else”. But consider me bugged off very much that at the end of it; I really have to choose between listening to him and losing my hearing capacity. So I ask him what is it that he wanted to talk about. 

He said: “a debate on religion between me and Number One”. 

“Whoa, you cannot proselytize at That is a no no”, said I. 

“But I am not proselytizing” said Cheesy. “Am just sharing a debate with Number One”.  

“And who’s that?” said I. 

“Number one is the daughter of Zero and Two. My neighbor”, said he. 

“Ow, and what you talk about?” 

“We talk about how come she believes in Aliens but not does not believe in the presence of God?” 

“Why does she believe in Aliens?” 

“Because according to her, there are Trillions of stars in the universe, and millions other galaxies, there must be another planet with another life form as well.”

“And what did you say?” I ask him, now interested. 

“I said, are you crazy? Don’t you have a brain at all? You said you don’t believe in God, but you believe in Aliens?”

“Hey Cheesy, you should not talk that way, to anybody, especially to ladies like her.”

“Well she’s a girl, but I didn't say she’s a lady did I? I have to find out if she does have nice manners. A lady has nice manners. I don’t think she has them.”

“How can you say that?”

“Well, for starters, she was shouting at me and calling me names when I said she’s crazy.”

“But that’s because you’re no gentleman yourself. And so she treats you the way you treat her. Well, anyway, go on, I don’t have all day. Cheez!!”

“Well she does have a reference with her. She browsed them on the net to prove that there is no God.”

“What kind of evidence did she produce?”

“Number one evidence. I don’t think she has a case though. No probable cause. She said that, if ever there is really a God, he would of course be very powerful. Powerful because creationist believes that he created everything. And creation of everything requires extreme amount of energy. Her conclusion is based on the theory of relativity (is this a law already? (According to Albert Einstein, Energy equals mass multiplied by the speed of light squared). Based from that equation, mass, said she, requires extreme energy, right? So therefore, if God is powerful, how come there’s so much chaos in the world? How can a powerful God turn out to be powerless to eliminate the basic painful things that mankind experience? How’s that for inconsistency?”

“And what did you say about that?”

“I said, you s#@* h#$% who had no faith!!!”

“Wait, you said that? No wonder she’s going to curse you good. Cheesy, you being angry is never a justification to resort to name calling. And you are pretty vindictive as well. You want her to listen to you, listen to her without prejudice as well. Plus, writing that comments of yours might even get me banned from my chess site.”

“You people are weird. I feel that way, so of course I would say things how I feel. Would you rather I lied?”

“No dear. All am saying is, only say something to someone that you would prefer hearing for yourself. If someone calls you s#@*, regardless if it’s true or not, is going to insult you correct?”

“But I am not s#@* It’s for a fact.”

“Yes but, being s#@* is a descriptive word, the meaning of which differs from one person to another and besides, not because you disagree with another bug means that you have to humiliate her. And how would you explain to her your point of view (or do you have a point of view?). By the way, are you a creationist?"

"No. I am a bug. Obvious, ain't it? Besides, I don't believe that the earth and everything in it were created in 6 literal days. So to continue with my explanation, I do have a point. I used her own evidence to point to God’s existence. The relativity theory calls for someone to have extreme amount of energy to produce mass. How can you have a result without a cause then? And I clarified to her as well, that her question is not about God being powerful, the question is why does it is seems that he is not doing anything about the existing chaos in the world.”

"You seem to dislike this other bug. Am I right in my conclusion so far? And to add to that, I would like to post the same question that she did, what is God doing with all the chaos in the world Cheesy? Come to think of it, Number One might simply be stating her observations.”

“Well, for starters, I don't dislike her. If I want an intillegent conversation, I'd provoke her through debate. As a matter of fact, I admire her intelligence (whereas I wonder where your's is), and to clarify myself, I like her more than I do you. I don't have to agree with her do that, don't I? Why not let me in and find me a chair where I can sit? I’d been standing here for so long, and you dare to call yourself nice?”

A clever bug who mistakes rudeness for honesty. 

But as soon as I find him a chair, he dozed to sleep. 

“Hey Cheesy, you’re leaving me hanging in suspense here. Explain yourself already!”.

Anyway, he never did wake up prior to me publishing this blog post. I’ll squeeze him for more information next time we talk. When would that be, I’ll let you know.