Flip a Coin
There I was all settled in at a Books-A-Million, with a cuppa java and the new New in Chess magazine, the best chess magazine in the world today; or yesterday; or tomorrow, come to think of it. As happens sometimes, a younger fellow came up and said, "Excuse me, sir, but I could not help but notice your mini-chessboard." I will admit to being just a little peturbed, but quickly got my 'mind right' and tried my dead level best to give the man a smile. "Begging your pardon, sir (I hear that word much more often now that I am a Senior), but I would like to ask your opinion." He asked me if I would mind walking over to the games section and helping him choose a chess book. Once we got to the section I noticed there were only three, count 'em, 3, chess books in what looked to be the poker section. The three titles were: Chess For Dummies by James Eade; Chess for Idiot's, by who knows; and the Encyclopedia of Chess Wisdom, by Eric Schiller. The gentleman asked me which one was the best book. "Flip a coin," I said. "But there are three books," he protested. "Doesn't matter," I said. "Well, can you at least help me to narrow it down to two books by eliminating the worse one?" he asked. "OK mister," I said. "I can quarantee you that if you purchase the Encyclopedia of Chess Wisdom you will become wiser...in the same way you would become wiser if you wiped your ass with sandpaper in lieu of toilet paper. Then the only question you would have to answer is, 'Am I a dummy, or an idiot? Which one is it going to be?"