Nova Daily - 7 May 2026: Shields

Hi!

It doesn't happen often, but there are days on which I feel completely empty. Deflated. Devoid of motivation. Not wanting to do anything and wondering how on Earth I'll manage to get by in the coming twenty minutes.

Today was such a day. I was involuntarily reminded of a very painful and premature goodbye. Part of this had to do with my own stupidity, because I chose deliberately to dive down into it. I had hoped that I'd be okay with it, but letting go of people that I care deeply about remains difficult all the steps of the way.

Goodbyes are difficult, and I felt cold and lonely.

Shields

There are a few things that I refuse to do when I feel like this. For one, I don't start eating chocolate like madness. Even though it's so very tempting to do, I don't want my unresolved sentiments to transition into meaningless extra pounds around my waist.

I don't want to kick a work-out either, and that's psychologically a bit more subtle. The thing is that I want to connect such thing as working out with positive things. I believe in personal growth, but I don't want to use it as a shield for my own emotions. It's a better shield than some hedonistic alternatives, some of which I've also tried, but it's a shield all the same.

Sometimes I like to watch comedy. Sometimes I try to write something. Sometimes I like to draw something. Sometimes I like to make music. I have more than one way to express my emotions. But sometimes it's an idea to just sit still and do nothing. No phone near, no chess, no food. Just sitting still, with only a bottle of water. Or a shower. No music. No chess. No writing. Disconnect. Unplug. And feel. No shields. Just feel.

The day after

One day later, one of my very best friends asked me to do something together. And the very first bullet game of the day happened to be one in which I clap a player over 100 points higher who subsequently blocked me:

A good way to end a bad day.