Stinking gamers

Apr 9, 2008, 3:53 AM |

I've taken a dangerous step toward the dark side.

I've long railed against this generation's fascination with video games. I've marvelled at people I've worked with... 20+ year olds living with their parents, working part time... perhaps taking 3 or 4 credits in college, spending their evenings and entire weekends hooking up LANs in someone's basement and playing video games til dawn. Week after week I would ask "Does anybody have a date?" Only to hear the reply "I do... a date with DEATH!!!"

And I let this breed sell me a PSP. 

Gamers are some of the weirdest people the planet has ever seen. Try setting up a game of football at the park these days... you can't do it. Too many of "the boys" are standing in line at Gamestop waiting for the new Halo to come out. But they will play you some good ol Madden '08 if you bring your machine to the next LAN party.

It was with a sense of foreboding I bought my kids Nintendo DS's for Christmas 2 years ago. I was equally bah humbuggish about buying them a Wii this year. And with the shining exception of guitar hero, I've done a good job of keeping myself clean from this plague.

But now... oh dear... I have myself a PSP, and last night I blew nearly 2 hours of my worknight playing a networked game of SoCon with a few co-workers. The decadence was delicious to the taste.

Oh the profanities that were hurled at each other in a singular showing of professionalism at it's nightshift finest. I could be these guys' dad... and I'm pretty sure I dated one of their mom's long ago. But here we were sniping each other from behind rocks and trees, taking out an arm, a leg... a head shot ("Sure to make the body drop")... all in good fun.

So today, in an effort to atone for my gluttony of evil, in a desperate HailMary for pennance I purchased Chessmaster 11 for the PSP.

Tonight, amidst the trashtalk all around me, which hangs in the air like a fart in the car, I am being aided in my pursuit of chess excellence by none other than Josh Waitzkin, as he helps me spear pieces of fruit on the chess board with queen forks!

I feel like such a traiter carrying a PSP around, I feel like I should wear a sign that says "Unclean" and warn others not to come to close. But somehow the blasphemy is softened by having chessmaster 11 on it.

It's still not holy.. just not quite the Judas it felt like last night.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll finish a few missions in Lego Star Wars, only 55,000 lego bits to go before I can build me a star cruiser!