Challenges

When I am looking to play a game,I go to Live Chess click the "New Game" button and a dot appears in the Challenges window showing my Challenge. If I don't get a game right away the dot dissappears after about a minute and no game starts. I have waitied 35 to 40 seconds by the clock on the wall and nothing happens. Then I click the Game tab or the Friends tab and click back to the Challenges tab and the dot reappears and will last for a short time and go away again. What is going on here? Is this the best way to get a game started?