How About Some 'Dubai Rules' for Chess Broadcasting?

The 'Sofia rules’, eliminating draw offers until the move 40, have been a welcome change in top level events, discouraging the players to opt out of a fight early in the game. So how about some ‘Dubai Rules’ to spark a kindred spirit for chess broadcasting?

Here are my tentative suggestions to get the discussion started:

-No engines: No numerical evaluation, no bar, no moves. The only way engines can be introduced into the broadcast is through asking the viewers in chat, among whom at least three independently accredited professional trolls should be embedded, which would give us a chance to evaluate the troll-radar of broadcasters.

-The show must go on from the first move till the score sheets are signed. Bathroom breaks are fine, but all meals should be eaten on air and at least one honest and deep evaluation of the position must be made with a full mouth.

-At no given 5-second period should the words ‘dead’ and ‘draw’ be conjoined until the game reaches 6-piece tablebase positions. For every three utterances of the phrase ‘every Russian school boy knows’ the commentators get one chance to use the word ‘boring’, although this should never be followed by the word ‘draw’.

-At least 15 minutes and 10 seconds of screen time should be spared for small talk that has no bearing on the actual position, game, or match situation whatsoever. Examples would be ‘So… The Wire or Breaking Bad?’ and ‘Any updates on David Howell’s love life?’

What do you think, any more suggestions?