Saturday Slaughter: PCL Predictions Week 5

Welcome back PCL lovers to another extraordinary day of futuristic explication.  Some of the tastiest match-ups this whole season are happening THIS SATURDAY so put on your Chess beanies and grab that chess mug your friends gave you for Christmas (because everyone knows you as that-person-who-plays-chess) pull up a seat and get ready to rock.

((Also, to everyone who thought I would be wrong on last week's San Diego victory (where my prediction was PERFECT) all I can say is "Cash me ousside!"))

GNOMES VS. CHESSBRAHS

YES.  Yes we can.  Ever since Caruana broke the Sinquefield cup, we've been wanting to see him in a showdown against Magnus the great.  Well here it is, people, here it is.  While I think Carlsen will get himself 4 full points, can the Chessbrah team will outmatch their travelocity figure-headed rivals.  My prediction?

Next on my must watch list is 

SURFERS VS. SWASHBUCKLERS

The Swashbuckler's have a higher average ELO, so the top dogs of San Diego are going to have to show their strength.  Are Melik and Alexey up for the task?

My prediction:

And of course, I just can't fail to mention:

MIGRAINES VS ARCHBISHOPS

Oh.MY.GOD.  Only in a world where Magnus and Caruana play could this get second billing.  MVL, Wesley So, it's on like Donkey Kong.  So will it be France or the French Quarter which will pull down the VICTORY?  Only two ways to find out.  1, watch the broadcast, or 2, click the video below   

There you have it people!  Check out my full list of predictions below!  

Full list:

Patagonia v Shymkent 10-6 for the Penguins!
Montclair v Mumbia 7-9 for the Country of Vishy!
Delhi v New York 7-9 For the Knights
Minnesota v Odisha 7-9 for the Express
Carolina v Amaravati 11-5 for my hometown Heros!
Gorky v Philadelphia 6.5-9.5 for the land where it's Always Sunny

Montreal v Norway 9-7 It'll be close, and I think Magnus will TEAR IT UPS, but the Bra's'll geterdun!
Riga v Destiny 9-7 For bad destiny!
Hawtlanta v Stockholm 6.5-9.5 for the Syndrom!
Amsterdam v Champions 6-10 Champs are WAY underrated. Looking for 3 points from Yip.
Abuja v Columbus 9-7 for the Energy Drink
St. Louis v Marseilles 9-7 for the ArchBishops of Doom!

San Jose v Budapest 9-7 Mamedyarov pulls through despite a lackluster performance from his team
Webster v Ljubljana 10-6 Direwolves are no good at Windmill tilting.
Pittsburghv Lagos 9.5-6.5 Pittburg needs a good win, and this week they'l lget it!
New Jerseyv Apeldoorn 10-6 Fists of Fury from Jersey
Johannesburg v San Fransisco 5-5-10.5 for the Mechanics
Belgrade v Rain Portland will go down again as Dusan pulls off an upset win!

Hamburg v San Diego 10-6 Dreev and Kachiyan will lay waste to the Swashbucklers
Reykjavik v Buenos Aires 6-10 God I love the puffins, but they're Kraken meat.
Seattle v Dublin 8-8 Okay okay, I'll call a draw.
London v Las Vegas 7-9 The rats will upset!
Cannes v Rio Grande 9-7 for Cannes!
London v Toronto Dragons 10-6 Never underestimate the Towers