An (almost) Live Groundhog Day Report!

Feb 2, 2012, 5:04 AM |

     Ok folks, for those of you who are not familiar with Pennsylvania's special day today, IT'S GROUNDHOG DAY!!!  This means that Pennsylvania's most famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, is going to be dragged out of his hole by a mob of men in top hats for us to see whether he sees his shadow or not.

     If he sees his shadow... 6 more weeks of Winter... if he doesn't see his shadow... an early Spring!  Oh, the suspense...

     Since Phil is the seer of all seers and the prognosticators of all prognosticators much weight is given to his predictions.  The method is simple enough to be so complex that only a groundhog such as he can accomplish it (I tried, but my cat doesn't work).  This will be his 126th prediction.

     I eagerly await his prediction.  So, what will it be?  Will the mildness continue and we'll have an early Spring?  Or will we receive our due Winter for 6 extra weeks of catch-up coldness?

     Last year it was an early spring.  Phil made lots of friends that year... but will he decide the truth is more important than making friends?!?!?  Time will tell...

     Btw, I'm reporting this honorable tradition live (from my living room and the Tv).  This will be typed just as the magical event occurs.  Having never woken up early enough to witness this happening, this will definitely be something to tell my children and grandchildren.  I feel the excitment building in the crowd (on Tv).  Where is Punxsutawney Phil?

     Wait!  They're pulling the rat... er... groundhog out now.  Oh, this is exciting!

     Now he's talking to the men with the top hats (no joking!).  Only those wise individuals with the top hats can understand groundhogese (again, no joking!).  Hmm... I need a top hat... ok, focus!

     Here's the result... He... He Sees His Shadow!!!  NOOOOOO!!!  The crowd's booing... YEAH PHIL!  BOOOOO!!!!!!!!

     That's it... what's up with the groundhog?  I can't believe that anyone puts much weight in those predictions anyway... maybe it's time to find a new rodent to take Phil's place?  But how can one argue with science?  Sounds like it's time for an oversized hampster hunt!  Maybe he'll change his prediction then!  If he doesn't I'm doomed...!  Too bad those men with the top hats are also Phil's body guards.

     Well, sorry to disappoint everyone this February 2nd.  Until next year and the next prediction!


Crying over those 6 weeks of winter,

~ sjpdna