Fearless chess

Tonight was the final night of the Panera Bread chess tournament that takes place on Thursday nights at 6:00 pm in Colorado Springs (on north Acadamy). My son Isaac and I were tied for clear first, and one of us was destined to win the prize money (all of 25$ but hey--I need gas money) unless we drew. Lately I draw Isaac most of the time, as I have no competative, animal chess spirit when I play him, but tonight I really wanted that 25$. On the other hand I knew if Isaac (age 13) won it he would spend it all on cd's or something. Certainly not a tank of gas for the old mom! So! Here's the thing. I didn't really mind losing either, because I never mind losing to him. I've noticed before that when I play him and want to win I have a sense of fearlessness that I never experience against other players. It's enlightening. I haven't fritzed this game and the soundness of my play is certainly in question, but on the other hand I found some really interesting tactics and tactical positions.