so after a few good games on the internet; I remind myself that I can play some really awful chess- and my opponent can as well...
the stats are impressively dreadful- I give away at 2 pawns, 1 piece and a forced checkmate/rook.
On the other hand; my opponent gives ALL of that away and a passed duo.
at the end; all is exchanged and the passed pawn makes the win.
here's the game! (with annotations that document what I was thinking)
having just seen the computer analysis. let me say that most lapses were later in the game; and a combination of being only aware of my threats and not the opponent's play. at times this become ridiculous, as in my 33rd move, where I seem to miss a hanging piece; and a checkmate threat. where the hanging piece could have easily defended against the checkmate.
its mere luck indeed that after an odd sort of unforced fork; black makes nearly the same kind of threat losing equal material to an unforced fork.
at the time neither fork looked unsound to me; but I don't think I was playing well At all!
which I mention; lastly is a really big flaw I have. once I make a mistake, by thought process goes to pot and I seem to make many more of them...