Zugswang

Sometimes life forces you to make a move, and often times one you did not want to make. In chess, this is Zugswang. It wasn’t long ago that my wife took a travel job in Kansas, and life was hopeful. The pieces were moving with elegance, and there is hope for a new season. I had let playing chess go, and began trying to learn to play again.  As a cold northwestern Kansas winter set in, I decided I might try writing. Many friends had encouraged me over the years to write more. Here was a chance. 

It seemed like a good idea to blog about something I was doing, so why not chess. I can clearly say that I am the last person that should be giving chess advice. At least at this point in my development. But like all great games, chess can inspire, challenge and reflect life. I had begun reading one of my favorite books. It was “A River Runs Through It” by Norman Mclean.  In so many ways a river runs through my life also, but as I reflected more, so does chess.  So there was my inspiration. A blog about chess, but more.

I jotted out ideas, and wrote some rough drafts. Excitement was in the air.  I had several posts planned out, and a few started. The family headed home for the holidays, and to catch up on things in the office. Little did I know life had a mating net looming.  My father had been in the hospital for what for him was a routine tune up for his congestive heart failure. My wife and I picked him up for from the hospital, but soon took him back.

There were doctors and nurses everywhere in the ICU. I am not sure if one more person could have come in to assist my father. Apparently there was a surgery that could help him, and he wanted to try it, although it was risky. To prepare him for it, they had to implant a pump to assist his heart while he healed for a while. Post surgery he had a stroke, which by all accounts should have been recoverable, but he was too weak.  The doctors were hopeful he could recover enough, but eight weeks later he passed into heaven with his Savior.

I did manage my first blog post during this period, but all the rest lay in shambles like dashed dreams gathering dust on a shelf. Family was hard, work was hard, life was hard. I was staring down a discovered check by the queen. But in all honesty this is where chess diverges from life. In chess, zugswang can lead to loss or resignation, but in life you can choose to keep fighting as long as you have breath. So from now on in chess like life I will never resign.