"Finished" Modern Chess Move by Move and dropped 100 rating points

1st - I finished Modern Chess Move by Move by Colin Crouch - my review....hmmm...

I like the idea of a book of top level chess, but maybe for me as a 2400 player - I'm not a big fan of variations, and while it tries to take the move by move format seriously, I found it to be extremely heavy sometimes on variations - as such, I skipped thru them (which is fine) - but near the end I found myself, like always, skimming the last 3 games just to get thru it - I passed over 5 pages in the last game of comments, variations, and chattter where the game was still in decent Ruy Lopez THEORY -

2nd - I have choked big time this week in chess - I must have dropped about 50 rating points each in my 15 minute and standard pool on ICC.  Tonight I went in with new resolve to crush my competition - AND....I missed on a sure win and a near crushing blow - I went for the easy draw on Qe2-e3 after dropping my extra pawn and white getting a passed pawn as well for it -

I considered h5 and f5, saw the en passant capture with check - and then Qxc7 and a fast deteriorating position....but I didn't look further - both moves are crushing

Game 2 - I got out of the opening with some strong developing advantage - (this happens to me a lot lately - I get +6 or +7 and choke it)

So what do I do?  Both positions go in my book of errors - and I buckle down and try harder to play piece safety and good piece placement - One was a tactical blunder (from a win to a draw) and the other was a positional blunder (from a win to loss) - I have a long long way to go still

RB