All My Dreams were Suddenly Possible

It wasn’t that I didn’t have dreams of becoming a National Master in 2019. It was that I had too much doubt.

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In June 2018, I moved to Ottawa to work at the Bank of Canada. I had been looking forward to this moment for quite some time. It was a first of many things. First time moving away from home. First time making my own money. It was also an opportunity for me to work on my chess, to make a serious push for National Master. Things looked promising, as I made friends with the tight-knit chess community and immediately went to work studying. The dividends paid off the first tournament in September, and I gained 40 points. I was now at 2170, knocking on 2200. There were three more tournaments left in the year, and I was optimistic of reaching 2200 by year end.

Instead, I spent the next three tournaments giving everything back, ending at 2133, just three elo points more than since I moved. Weeks of studying after work. Weeks of attending chess club. While my colleagues were networking and building on their career, I’ve devoted my free time for 3 elo points. Entering 2019, the road to National Master looked not only bleak, but on the wrong track. I had faith, but it was overwhelmingly shrouded by doubt.

The major tournament circled on my calendar was the Canada Zonal during Easter. The top section had a rating floor of 2200, or 67 points away. There were three tournaments before to achieve that rating, and hoped I might get close.

The first one, the RA Winter Open, three weeks into January, got me there.

Starting on the right foot

It certainly got off to the right start. In round 1, I played Aziz as White, an old friend who was over 200 points rated below me but known to be tricky. In one of our last encounters, he outplayed me from the opening and only conceded a draw to me because he really needed a cigarette. This time, after a tense middlegame my attack went through and the tactics went in my favour. Starting off the tournament on a Friday night with a win was always nice. I learned my pairing for the next day: I was facing Chris, NM, a player I absolutely needed to be able to beat to get to the next level. I don’t think I slept much that night.

First breakthrough and setback

Round 2 started off well. I was well prepared in the Grunfeld structure sidelines, and had a comfortable position. It wasn’t winning or anything, but it felt close to equal, with many opportunities to make mistakes. He blinked first in the Bishop endgame, and I didn’t look back. I didn’t have too much to celebrate, as in the double-rounder, I was paired against Zach, a strong NM who was aiming for FM. I’ve trained extensively with him, and it was a great opportunity to see if I can out-book the book. Long story short, it felt like one of those master beats apprentice, rather handily. Even though I lost, my pairing doesn’t get that much easier, as I’m scheduled to play CM David Gordon, whom I’ve lost twice to in 2018, looking for my first draw/win. I was weary, as the last time I won the first two games, I lost the next two.

Tense final day

Round 4 started on a tense note. I was so nervous; it felt like I needed the win. In fact, I mixed my preparation, and was playing on instinct rather than concrete lines. I survived the opening and felt like I had a little pull, but I spent too much time finding the perfect moves and got into time trouble. In the end, I was much worse, and I had to grind to hold the draw in an endgame down a pawn. On the bright side, I got my first half point against David, which was a relief in of itself. I’ll take it.

You’ve got to be kidding me

I was about to go to lunch feeling optimistic about my chances. Perhaps I’ll hit 3.5/5 for the first time. As I leave for the mall, I stare at my pairing. This draw earned me a final round encounter against… GM Bator Sambuev. As Black.I stared at the pairing, hoping this was a bad dream, that there was a mistake. But alas, it was real. It was as if the winds left my sails. Bator drew in the first round and lost to Gordon in Rd 3, so he had been playing from behind all tournament. I couldn’t believe my luck. He beat me handily with Black the first time we played. There’s no chance I get through this, I thought. It was a nice tournament while it lasted.

The defining game

The one bright side was that I didn’t have to prepare any lines during lunch, because the guy could play anything. The dark side was that I was sitting there eating my sandwich wishing I hadn’t overthought Round 4 and conceded the half point. When the final round started, the mental spiral certainly affected me, as I got confused in his move order – he started with 1. Nf3 but quickly transposed into a Maroczy bind structure where all my pieces were positioned poorly. By move 14 he was already +1 on the position with equal material, which is almost decisive for a player of his caliber. He kept the pressure the clock too, amassing a 24 min advantage on the clock by move 20 and 50-min advantage by move 25.

Bend but not break

But I did notice that he wasn’t finishing me off. I was killing time on my clock preparing for moves that would put me off, but he really didn’t pull the trigger. It seemed like he was tired, frustrated, and wanted to go home to Montreal, a two-hour drive. He had been invited by the tournament director to play in the tournament and was out of prize contention, so he only had his (still hefty) appearance fee. At this point, he was just playing quickly, maintaining pressure, hoping that I would be my own demise. While I burned more even more time on the clock, I was slowly waiting for a slip up for a counter strike. He had been complacent the last few moves, and I only needed a few more to unleash my counterplay.

Tides turned

On move 40, he blinked. I was able to finally play a thematic 40…b5 break that frees me from the Bind. Now, I was completely fine, down 55 min with only 5 min on my clock, but completely fine on the board. All of a sudden, it was much easier to play as Black, and he needed to be precise to not allow me to take over.

The ensuing endgame was a masterclass. We liquidated major pieces and only had a bishop and knight each and some pawns. Because of my earlier pawn break, I now had a queenside pawn majority that could start to roll if left unchecked. Objectively it was a draw, but he played the endgame a little too casually. He missed a few intermediate moves, allowing me to win two pawns. My heart started racing as I pushed my passers down the board. From being lost out of the opening, to being on even terms by move 40, to be cruising to a draw, to suddenly being winning, this game saw it all.

Reflections

On move 71, he resigned in disgusting. I committed robbery. I honestly don’t remember much afterwards – I can’t even find the original copies of my scoresheet anymore. I called my family, told my colleagues, but I was on such a cloud that nothing else mattered. Winning did solve everything. The last few months weren’t a setback, it was just consolidation before the next leg up. It reminded me that suddenly, all my dreams were possible.

In the 2019 RA Winter Open, I scored 3.5/5, good enough for a tie for third and a class prize of 100$. I had a 2419 performance rating, emphatically securing my first NM norm. More importantly, my national rating shot up to 2227 for a gain of 94 elo. Suddenly, I qualified for the Canada Zonal. Things were aligning.

I came into the year hoping to qualify for the Canada Zonal and break 2200 by the end of March. All of a sudden, I could potentially be a National Master before I reach the Zonal.