When I Beat Someone 12 Games in a Row (And Why I Finally Stopped)
At the start, my opponent and I were 2 points in elo apart. By the end of it, the gap widened to 154. I thought I was just playing chess. I didn't realize I was watching someone destroy themselves - or that I'd recognize myself in their desperation.
The Setup
I was in the car travelling in between cities. I pulled out my phone and started playing a few bullet games. The car was shaky, I was cramped in the back... I wasn't playing too well. Had some bad beats was deeply frustrated. I had been trying to push for 2500 again, but it didn't feel like I would hold 2400. However, I did and was back at 2437.
Then, it happened.
I play a guy rated 2435, very close to me in rating. I was Black in a Sicilian Taimanov, he didn't play the most critical line, and I had a comfortable position. The middlegame tactics worked in my favour and I won the game. I accepted a rematch, and again he played an interesting line that left me pretty comfortable, and ended up blundering a mate in two. He offers another rematch.
We play another pair of games. By this point, I beat him with both colours twice. He also played almost the same opening, whereas I made small adjustments. Now, it would've been a good time to take a pause and reflect.
But the rematch offer still came. And I obliged.
Game 5 is really where I really felt my opponent was tilting. He played super quickly, accumulating a 10 second time advantage. I play a move knowing full well it had one purpose: to bait him into a trap. And like clockwork, he fell for it. He has now left 2400. I feel bad for him, but he keeps rematching me. And I oblige.
As the games roll in, the excitement creeps in me, followed by a wave of anxiety. Wow, my goal of 2500 is within reach. This feeling is great. I'm so close to adopting him (10 in a row). Actually the pressure of winning got to me too. I actually was very close to losing Game 8, losing my queen for rook and bishop and the position was completely lost for me. I could feel my opponent feeling hopeful that his streak was about to end. However, he didn't deliver the final blow, and hung his queen in time pressure. I was at 2492, him 2380. At this point, if I lost 8 in a row, including some winning positions, I would stop and look myself in the mirror. And I would tell my students to stop much earlier. But the rematch offer kept coming.
I was knocking on 2500, but because I took so much rating from him, I needed two games to get there rather than 1. For evenly rated players, a win/loss is 8 points. As the ratings diverge, it becomes 7-9, 6-10, etc. There were diminishing margins of return for me, as I contemplate myself when to stop. I definitely want to take this one, for the glory.
Game 10 was pretty shaky. I was on the verge of 2500, adopting him. I played a sac that I thought was winning. This is it. Going out in style. My opponent thought for a while, and pulled off a stunning defense, which I completely overlooked. Unfortunately for him, he spent too much time coming up with his sequence, and I flagged him with 20 seconds to spare. That one probably hurt him the most, because he had me.
And yet, he is still spamming the rematch button.
The decision point
I adopted him. Each win brings 5 pts and each loss is -11 pts. If I can get to 2510+, I'll have enough to cover a loss and stay above 2500. Let's play two more games.
I won game 11 not because I played better, but because he was more desparate and took bigger risks. I won game 12 because he was completely gone, going for an all kings endgame after losing a pawn. My goal was met. I was at 2513. Him, 2359.
The rematch offer comes again. Feeling invincible, I contemplated playing him until I lost. But, I had already reached my goal, and 12-0 is crazy. Plus, my rating is a little inflated from all that "farming". Not to mention I was now almost at my destination. For the first time all night, I declined his rematch offer.
Coming down from cloud nine
When I finished that sequence I felt uneasy. Empty in a way. I couldn't put my finger on why. On the one hand, this made for an excellent tale, and I love to bask in its glory. On the other hand, I felt a lot of empathy. I wanted to learn more about him, so I checked his profile. Turns out that his highest bullet rating was 2442. Achieved earlier that day. He was 5 points away from his peak when we started. Now I could feel the emotions coming in. I've been on the other side. How many times have I been close to a peak, or broke a record, only to face a little setback and give up all my games. How many times have I been unable to stop, compulsive to click the rematch button, unable to face my games and go game review. How many times have I been playing on emotion rather than skill. How many times has my mental health been better off if I just walked away? In some ways, I was playing against a part of me that I knew all too well, and the pain felt very much real.
The hot streak also left me much more vulnerable to setbacks. After winning 15 in a row (3 before plus the 12), I was playing more with fear to not lose rather than to keep pushing. Indeed, the next handful of games I really struggled, despite going 5-4 and increasing my rating a tad to 2525. The harsh reality was that my rating is unsustainable unless I do real work to improve. So, for the first time in years, I sought help for my game. I reached out to @bluecrazykiwi, who gladly reviewed several of my games from after the streak and offered some insight. He noticed that in bullet chess, I tend to lock onto one strong idea - usually an attack or tactical sequence - and pursue it with tunnel vision. While this focus makes sense given the time constraints, it sometimes blinds me to my opponent's counterplay until it's too late to address it. He also observed that even when I have a clear advantage, I'm often willing to sacrifice too much material for uncertain attacking chances. His advice was simple: go for the attack when it's there, but don't trade a winning position for one where you're just hoping things work out.
This advice hit me like a brick. Not because it was groundbreaking, but because I felt that and didn't take the time to process it. It triggered a lot of emotion of games that got away from me, that I just buried to play another game. Would I teach my students to just keep playing? Of course not. It is precisely in these moments that real learning occurs. Countless times I have said "oh I know what happened" only to repeat the same thing over and over. Arguably, this lesson in chess can be applied to all aspects of our lives. Give it a try.
Closing thoughts
While I was the one dealing the damage, I write this in full humility. It was important for me to stop. Not only am I enabling his self-destruction, but the wins don't serve me anymore, not to mention that mathematically there are diminishing returns. I also wouldn't want my opponent to enable my self-destructive side when I couldn't stop myself. In the moment, it was difficult to walk away, but I knew I made the right decision.
What's the most games you've won in a row against an opponent of equal rating? More importantly - where would you have stopped?
If this story resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
Houji
Ready to work on your chess psychology and decision-making?
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Want to see the games yourself? I've created a collection of all 12 games from this streak. https://www.chess.com/analysis/collection/when-i-beat-someone-12-games-in-a-row-PsFypNiz/5b4mWLyVJv/games
