how can I like... get just 2 queens for promotions?

for me promotions are ridiculously common... I can usually get 2 pawns promoted, but sometimes 1. basically I play hyper-aggressively and annihilate their rooks and queen at the cost of both my knights and one of my bishops. then I push as hard as I can for a promotion

Okay. Against stronger opponents that aren't playing for laughs, promotion is much tougher to successfully achieve: especially early in the game. Even with a "hyper-aggressive" style, it isn't too likely for one promotion and certainly not 2 or 3 that often.

hmm I get promotions face to face about 80% of the time, online, if you want to look at my games, feel free. I get promotions about 30-40% of the time. when I got a really low trophy count when I was just beginning to play chess online, I once got about 5 promotions. against the level 1 bot I can easily get 4 promotions, rarely up to 6 promotions.

https://youtu.be/FcNeEapxr0w Although you might already know the cambridge springs trap.

the last game I played, I got 2 promotions.

against Morgoth6. I know hes my friend but that was not staged.