Now now calm down, in time he will join the ranks of the d4 players. They all do eventually.
1.d4 2...Yawn

I play both 1 e4 and 1 d4 ..... I like 1 e4 better but do better with 1 d4 !? WTF ?? The really sad thing about this is I didnt even know this about my own chess until GM Kevin Spraggett brought it to my attention some years ago ! I do get fed up with so many sicilians though and 1 d4 gives more variety in black responses for sure.....
The Noteboom is one of the few responses to 1.d4 that allows black to fight for the full point from the outset. Experienced queen's pawn players will usually avoid it but the less experienced will walk straight into the meat grinder. It's sharp, complex and hugs the line between respectable and insane which means that it's also very, very fun to play.
I don't know if you're familiar with the Benko Gambit but for those that are I'll just say this -- if you think the a/b files give black good attacking chances queenside, just wait until you play the Noteboom where the a/b files turn into what can only be described as Hell's Highway! You'll never look at the a7 and b7 pawns the same again....I'm gettin' misty just thinkin' about it.
1 d4 d5 2 c4 e6 3 Nc3 c6 4 Nf3 dxc4!?
I strongly agree. I've never heard anyone opine that the Noteboom is bad.
In fact, I've tested over a dozen Rybka-vs-Rybka (version 3) games at classical time control, starting each game in the Noteboom formation. The result? Black's score is overwhelming: 4 wins, 1 loss, and the rest drawn -- something like 55-60%! While these stats are only from a small pool of games, I think we can say that Black is at least equal. This is as close as you can get to a dream opening for Black.
Also, there's the added bonus that when you are facing weaker players who don't know the Noteboom, they think you are a patzer trying to gain a pawn, and often times they simply drop that pawn or mess themselves up trying to regain it the wrong way.

i always play the benko gambit, which is both sound and gambity. i can't believe you think that queen's pawn is boring: you've gotten 10 different opening choices!
But trying to get a noteboom allow the marshall gambit, which scores badly for black.
If you don't like facing the Marshall gambit, you could simply go for the Noteboom only when White plays Nf3 before Nc3. The Slav usually encourages white to play this move order (as opposed to the Orthodox). The Noteboom isn't something you can force, but it is an opportunity to seize whenever White becomes silly enough to walk into it.
The Grunfeld is a personal favorite, but, if you want a Gambit, may I suggest...
The Albin Counter-Gambit!

But if you play the King's Indian practically all the time (like I do) don't you start to get bored of it?
No, you start to get really really good at it!

The Noteboom is one of the few responses to 1.d4 that allows black to fight for the full point from the outset. Experienced queen's pawn players will usually avoid it but the less experienced will walk straight into the meat grinder. It's sharp, complex and hugs the line between respectable and insane which means that it's also very, very fun to play.
I don't know if you're familiar with the Benko Gambit but for those that are I'll just say this -- if you think the a/b files give black good attacking chances queenside, just wait until you play the Noteboom where the a/b files turn into what can only be described as Hell's Highway! You'll never look at the a7 and b7 pawns the same again....I'm gettin' misty just thinkin' about it.
1 d4 d5 2 c4 e6 3 Nc3 c6 4 Nf3 dxc4!?
I strongly agree. I've never heard anyone opine that the Noteboom is bad.
In fact, I've tested over a dozen Rybka-vs-Rybka (version 3) games at classical time control, starting each game in the Noteboom formation. The result? Black's score is overwhelming: 4 wins, 1 loss, and the rest drawn -- something like 55-60%! While these stats are only from a small pool of games, I think we can say that Black is at least equal. This is as close as you can get to a dream opening for Black.
Also, there's the added bonus that when you are facing weaker players who don't know the Noteboom, they think you are a patzer trying to gain a pawn, and often times they simply drop that pawn or mess themselves up trying to regain it the wrong way.
Personally, I feel that the Noteboom is one of the easiest ways to achieve equality against 1.d4 so I'm not the least bit surprised by the results of your testing. Some of the most comfortable/lopsided games I've ever played against 1.d4 have been Noteboom games....
OK, before you get all excited about this Noteboom thingy, you should probably realize that this is why after those opening moves white often plays e3 instead of Nf3. This is what I do.
1.d4 d5 2.c4 e6 3.Nc3 c6 4.e3
All I'm saying is that you should "prepare" something other than the Noteboom, and for what it's worth I wouldn't make it the Stonewall Dutch.
Maybe the Noteboom or the Semi-Slav? It's as close as I can think of to having multiple personalities.
You know, just as an aside, when I was first learning, I treated the Noteboom as basically that white blundered a pawn. I realize that's not exactly true, but if they don't know what they're doing, they've probably blundered the whole game on move 4!

There are obviously many options, but here is one thing you can bank on...
1. d4 f5, the Dutch, sets the tone for the rest of the game, with an imbalanced position from the get-go. Even with White's gambits (which give you the spicy pla you want), White still has to be careful to make sure that his initiative doesn't go bust.
If he doesn't play a gambit, you have several options at your disposal. The Leningrad Dutch is an exciting, ambitious approach to 1. d4 f5.
You can be guaranteed often of having a tense game, not a yawning battle. I often study other openings, but I always come back to 1. f4 and 1...f5. As I read in a quote earlier today, "a chessplayer can use the Dutch as their primary weapon against 1. d4 for a lifetime". It is that complex...plenty of opportunity for adventure, plus the early kingside attacks with ...f4!

Dutch 1.f5 it's not a popular opening it can take an opponent who hasn't prepared to meet it out of there comfort zone or their routine play book when there not expecting it!

There are a lot of gambits that Black can choose from when facing off against 1. d4. You can take some time to learn the Benoni, Modern Benoni, or even Budapest Counter Gambit, among others. But if you want a simple and sharp line, just try the easiest gambit you can think of . . . 1. d4 e5!!
Trust me, it's no patzer move! I've used it on occasion, and unless your opponent is very skilled, you get a lot of game from having open lines for your Queen and both Bishops.
a) The Meran Semi-Slav- 1. d4 d5 2. c4 c6 3. Nf3 Nf6 4. Nc3 e6 5. e3 Nbd7 6. Bd3 dxc4 7. Bxc4 b5 8. Bd3 a6 9. e4 c5- has been explored hundreds of times. A common continuation is 10. e5 cxd4! 11. Nxb5 axb5 12. exf6 gxf6 was explored twice in the 2008 WCC, Anand (Black) bringing home the full point (and the match) in both, in a stunning tactical fashion.
The Botvinnik Semi-Slav- 1. d4 d5 2. c4 c6 3. Nf3 Nf6 4. Nc3 e6 5. Bg5 dxc4 (A little more tame is the Moscow Variation, 5... h6) 6. e4 b5!? 7. e5 h6 8. Bh4 g5 9. Nxg5 is, as Glenn Flear put it, weird but wonderful. Play may continue, 9... hxg5 10. Bxg5 Nbd7 11. g3 Bb7 12. Bg2 Qb6 13. exf6 0-0-0!?. Play is very unclear and complicated (maybe not to Botvinnik!), and it's hard to decipher who is winning.
The Semi-Slav Defense, Stoltz Variation: Shabalov Attack- 1. d4 d5 2. c4 c6 3. Nf3 Nf6 4. Nc3 e6 5. e3 Nbd7 6. Qc2 Bd6 7. g4!? Any line from Shabalov must be sharp! Play may continue 7... h6 8. Rg1 Qe7 9. h4 dxc4, with sharp complicated
play.IF YOU COULD FOLLOW ANY OF THIS HERE'S A VISUAL AID

There are a lot of gambits that Black can choose from when facing off against 1. d4. You can take some time to learn the Benoni, Modern Benoni, or even Budapest Counter Gambit, among others. But if you want a simple and sharp line, just try the easiest gambit you can think of . . . 1. d4 e5!!
Trust me, it's no patzer move! I've used it on occasion, and unless your opponent is very skilled, you get a lot of game from having open lines for your Queen and both Bishops.
I will try it. But if it doesn't work....you're going down!
Bleh, some dodgy advice on here :)
My dad, who is a strong strong player, has played the Budapest for a few years now - and we've come to the conclusion that it's very dull for Black is white replies with sensible decent mainline moves. Sure it might be good if White makes errors, but that's the same with any opening. As gambits go, Budapest is actually really dull I'm afraid.
Now the Albin Counter Gambit is a lot of fun and, statistically after 1.d4 d5 2.c4, 2...e5 is Black's best scoring reply! Here Black really does get lots of play although objectively White might have some advantage.
I agree wholeheartedly with people who say the Benko is a great gambit; the only real problem is that there's now a huge body of theory that goes with it.
1.d4 e5 is just bad I'm afraid, it looks bad, it is bad, White has great results.
Personally I took up the Gruenfeld at the beginning of the year and I love it. It gives deep, strategically very imbalanced games as a matter of course, and I've scored 3/3 OTB with it so far.
Overall: If you want a gambit, try Benko, Albin, Blumenfeld.
Noteboom is good but be aware White can avoid it.
If you want an interesting, complex but also highly respected opening, try King's Indian Defence or the Gruenfeld. I'd prefer the Gruenfeld because I believe it gives a greater variety of position than the KID.
Seems to me if someone is even bothering to play chess, you should encourage them, you arrogant jerk. D4 is a usable and respected opening, around alot longer that you have been... So, when someone plays it, beat them and improve yourself, or go buy an xbox and leave us d4 players alone...