Yeah. My thoughts entirely.
How to defend this opening?

You're probably pretty inexperienced, right? Still I've seen some pretty strong tactical players use these uber-direct ideas for White and it's bothersome to be in your shoes even when you're certain the opening really is silly and lacks strategic value.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_Opening
Wikipedia calls White's effort the Napoleon Attack, but I've always called it the scholar's mate attack and haven't even dignified it with any capital letters . . . it's so bad.
I believe that after 1. e4 e5 2. Bc4, and also 1. e4 e5 2. Qf3 that Nc6 is the correct move and avoids all silly scholar's mate continuation ideas based upon the Black King-Pawn being unprotected. In your line with 2. ... f5 played, 3. ... Nc6 after either the 3. Bc4 or the 3. Qf3 move looks even stronger to me!
Went to the Game Explorer on this site which shows your 2. ... f5 as the most successful 2nd move percentagewise but only 13 games are available so it's probably 11 or 12 games of the 13 games played by Patzer vs. Master or Patzer vs. Semi-patzer which means that not really the highest quality master games are being played in this line. The move Qf3 wasn't one of White's 3rd move options but I clicked and made it anyway and the transposition that popped up showed that two games in this new line had been played with one win for black and one draw which is not bad. The two games diverged immediately with White capturing the Black Knight on its home square in the loss and moving Ne2 in the drawn game. Black was rated 157 points higher than White (2571 to 2414) in the Black win; and White was rated 137 points higher in the drawn game (2415 to 2278) so it looks like the line as played by White could be a real turkey (much like all the scholar's mate ideas). Good luck!
Here are the two games:
A.
White: | Dimitrov, Pa (2414) | ||
Black: | Belov, Vl (2571) | ||
Event: | IX EICC | ||
Site: | Plovdiv BUL | ||
Score: | 0-1 | Date: | 2008.04.29 |
Opening: King Pawn Game: Napoleon Attack (C20)
B.
White: | Dimitrov, Pa (2415) | ||
Black: | Stoinev, M. (2278) | ||
Event: | 7th Georgiev - Kesarovski Mem | ||
Site: | Sunny Beach BUL | ||
Score: | 1/2-1/2 | Date: | 2008.09.11 |
Opening: King Pawn Game: Napoleon Attack (C20)
I have been running into an opening that works on the same principle of the Parham. I will keep my comments to myself about people who play these openings. I could use some guidance on defending this. I already see that once I saw his Qf3 I should have moved either f6 or nf6...I think.