Opening Hot Takes

Name an opening and I will give a stereotypical, one sentence subjectively objective verdict.

Example: Philidor defense, annoyingly solid.

Smith Morra

grand prix

Like racing in the grand prix, you either win or you die

An aggressive drawing weapon

Barnes Opening

A subpar attempt to channel the holy powers

About as good as using a barn for a fort instead of a castle

Najdorf

That one guy who doesn't study but gets an A

King's Indian Defense

Grob opening

Hungarian Defense

grubby

Reading your opponent like a book where it says your opponent is reading from a book which is from a book in a book

About as good as it is dynamic

Nakhmanson Gambit

Caro Kann

French Exchange

SICILIAN