Shrek poems ep.1

Purple Onions in Gotham

Green onions have layers but purple onions have the good stuff, that's why they never show Shrek munching down purple onions in the movie, which is how he gets that really thick voice and body, but he had to quit eating purple onions because he would continually snap donkey's neck. So shrek was sent to an insane asylum in arkham. But he became reformed and got a job as a butler at wayne manor where he became Alfshrek the butler. Batman thought Alfshrek looked fat so he gave alfshrek a coupon to fiona fitness. Alfshrek didn’t like that answer so he threw an onion at Batman, he blocked it but not in time because shrek snapped his neck. So alf shrek became Batshrek fighting crime in Shrekam city

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do you want an ep.2

Yes please

I'd like you to meet my friend Shrek
Say hi Shrek! ("Hi Shrek") Shrek's 30 and still lives with his mom
And he don't got a job, 'cause Shrek sits at home and smokes pot
But his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
And Shrek likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
And wait in the parkin' lot for waitresses off the clock
When it's late and the lot gets dark he fakes like he walks his dog
Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (ah!)
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
The ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
'Til one night Mrs. Fiona went off the job
When she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Fiona knew it was Shrek and said knock it off
But Shrek wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
He grabbed Fiona by the legs and chopped it off her
And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
So ever since the day Fiona went off to wander
They never found her, and Shrek still hangs at the waffle diner
And that's the story of Shrek and his marijuana,
And what it might do to you
So see kids, drugs are bad for you

ep.2 One day while Shrek got a shot of Vodka, Big Chungus bumped into him, Shrek of course wasn’t happy, so he shot off at Big Chungus, but big chungus didn’t like that, so he poked Shreks eye with a carrot. Little did he know ogres were like onions, they had layers. So shrek threw a punch at big chungus, but big chungus absorbed the punch and ripped shreks arm off. So shrek ripped big chungus’ ear off, and big chungus started squealing, so finally donkey came in and grabbed a nearby shotgun, and blew up big chungus’ head.

Shrek Opening: Double Sacrifice

Shrek Opening: Anti-Fiona Variation

Shrek opening. Destroy all the pawns with onion breath and hold the king/prince farquad hostage until all the pieces give up and become shrek's servants/Donkey

what the hell that's the third time you've scarred me

Dang that's an awesome poem

Donkey in Gotham

Donkey was invited to shrek manor once, then he saw shrek wayne had a subscription to fiona  fitness. So he went there to find shreks wife but apparently fiona was shot by a mafia, so Donkey got really mad and went to the gun store and bought a yeet gun. He hunted down the mafia and found out it belonged to his enemy kermit, so he was about to yeet kermit, but then kermit manipulated him into thinking kermit was trying to save gotham. So donkey secretly joined Kermit, and would soon have to face shrekman.

This isn't an Eminem chat, unless it has shrek lyrics like "I could swallow a bottle of Shrekahol."

good point icyboyyy

here's a story

Donkey got a cool gas mask, and melted it onto his face and got a tattoo of a waffle, and became Bane. He was about to blow up Wayne manor with waffles when suddenly Shrekman jumped in, so the fight began. Donkeybane vs shrekman. Donkeybane threw a waffle at Shrekman's face but it was blocked and countered with a yeet by shrekman throwing donkeybane against the wall. So donkeybane took out his yeet gun and continually shot yeets at shrekman, but they were all countered. Then Shrekman ate a purple onion and went full anime on donkebane. Then he did an omega yeet blowing donkeybane through the earth.