What Defense Would Slow A Grandmaster?

It is amazing how infrequently GM's play e4 these days.  It wasn't played in the
World Championship match and d4 is the standard opening move in the U.S.
Championships as well.

A guide to playing Gm's for Patzers:

1) You are surely gonna lose, be prepared for that.

2) If by some fluke you don't lose, it will NOT be because you outplayed him, it will be because he made a mistake.

3) He is unlikely to make a mistake in a line he is familiar with, and where he understands the idea behind the line far better than you do.

4) He is unlikely to make a mistake in a simple position.

5) Your only hope is to complicate and unbalance as much as you can, and HOPE he errs before you do. The most likely type of mistake is probably where he goes into a forced line and miscalculates the position at the end of it.

6, oh, and did I mention, you are surely gonna lose :(

So, I agree with Gonnosuke (I think)

I'm most likely reiterating the thoughts of the other players, as I haven't carefully perused this thread, but there was an article that gave very useful information in playing against much stronger players. I believe I saw it a few weeks ago or so, 'How to beat a Grandmaster', except the cutoff on lines made it say 'How to beat a Grandma'. Now, if I were talking about the latter, then I'd say take her queen and hide it behind her dentures, but we're talking GMs. (Grandmother Masters?)

There is no benefit in playing in a drawlike manner. It will only give the GM a chance to demonstrate his or her (for the sake of simplicity, he) superior technique, a chance he'll jump on in a heartbeat. Come out swinging and ready to fight; Kasparov once scorned a person who played a well known repetition in a simultaneous for their lack of fighting spirit, and as (perhaps) uncalled as it was, his words ring with truth - how can you expect to win without throwing some punches?

I'd prefer to go down in flames than get slow-rolled.

I'm not beating a GM no matter what I play.

So if my goal is to "hold out as long as possible", I take that to mean "play as many moves as possible before succumbing."

I'd look to see what their pet lines are, and then try to steer the game into the one that has the most theory.  Theory is, after all, that elusive beast that allows us to play as well as the legends for as long as we follow it.  Obviously taking a risk that they follow the line rather than deviating, but it would be one strategy.  If I can find a pet variation that has 35 moves of theory (a Ruy, Sicilian, or Meran, say), I can probably push it over 40 moves.

My backup plan would be the Hippo.  Lots of moves in that before the inevitable pummeling would ensue.

I would just say play your regular openings.  If they are a GM then chances are that he/she is going to crush you anyway.. Why not get a free lesson in your fav opening.

Smuggle a bat into the tournament hall, it's a long shot but it might just work.

 Ever think maybe Basman would have made GM if not for the uncommon lines he plays ? 

If he is winning mostly against weaker players then the openings dont much matter. If he has a winning record against his peers and/or superiors with his unusual openings it would mean much more.

Fortunately, most Europeans are rarely subjected to metal detectors (airports are my only experience) as we don't have gun cultures (I've never seen one outside of my military service and airports).

But yes, a wooden bat would make a satisfying "thunk"!

Material of choice: Willow.

Size: Junior (easier to secrete about oneself)

I call it The Ultimate Defence to the Ruy Lopez.

I don't know what to play against a GM if you want to play the longest possible game. However, if you want to win, you have to play the Bongcloud, where the chances are great that your opponent will resign and definitely quit playing chess to start a crocheting career after the first eight and a half moves...

If you want further analysis of this devastating attack don't forget to visit: http://www.caissasmonastery.org/static/Winning_with_the_Bongcloud.pdf

I think Silman's new book comes out in June of 2010.

Now it looks like Silman's book won't be out until September.