I know. You think you're so subtle with your trolling, I had you pinned as one even before I read that you were nominated as Troll of the Month. xD
What is Black's worst response to 1.e4?

Yes, yes, but is it as bad as 1... Kxd8?? Remember that it is legal to make an illegal move in FIDE tournaments, and on the first time you do it I think they just subtract time from your clock. Therefore, that is the worst move possible as it A) loses time on the clock, and B) loses the Queen. 1... Qxe8# or other variations are discounted because the game ends a turn before the King is taken, therefore this is logically impossible.
Scores have been updated. b5 is gaining some ground in terms of percentage, while f5 is still in the lead. Also, Qxd8 is there, but it isn't.
Yes, yes, but is it as bad as 1... Kxd8?? Remember that it is legal to make an illegal move in FIDE tournaments, and on the first time you do it I think they just subtract time from your clock. Therefore, that is the worst move possible as it A) loses time on the clock, and B) loses the Queen. 1... Qxe8# or other variations are discounted because the game ends a turn before the King is taken, therefore this is logically impossible.
Qxe8 is not check. Qxe8 actually wins the game because the objective of the game is to checkmate your opponents king, and since black doesn't have a king, it is either draw or win for black.
Yeah and a game where his opponent drops pieces for free is proof of that.
Everyone blunders, it doesn't matter. f5 is the best move to play regardless.

hard choice:
1... f5 weakens the kingside but 1...d5 loses a central pawn and taking it back with the queen is just crazy!

Scandinavian is one of the worst in the legit move catagory, but no where near worst. 1.e4 f5 is the worst continuation for black, period.
I believe b5 is worse on basis that after Bxb5 c6 Be2, white is up a pawn and black has no compensation whatsoever, whereas with f5, after exf5 Nf6, black has lead in development, center majority, and black also is likely to regain the pawn after d5. Nevertheless, votes shall be updatationed.

I believe b5 is worse on basis that after Bxb5 c6 Be2, white is up a pawn and black has no compensation whatsoever, whereas with f5, after exf5 Nf6, black has lead in development, center majority, and black also is likely to regain the pawn after d5. Nevertheless, votes shall be updatationed.
3. g4
I believe b5 is worse on basis that after Bxb5 c6 Be2, white is up a pawn and black has no compensation whatsoever, whereas with f5, after exf5 Nf6, black has lead in development, center majority, and black also is likely to regain the pawn after d5. Nevertheless, votes shall be updatationed.
3. g4
3... g6 or 3... h6 both respond well to that.
So was I ;)