why do people like the caro kann?


(p. 129)
CARO-KANN DEFENCE
(1 P-K4, P-QB3)
MENTIONED by Polerio in 1590, this defence was little understood and
scarcely played until H. Caro of Berlin and M. Kann of Vienna took
up the cudgels in the 1890s. Capablanca adopted it for the first time
against Atkins at London, 1922, and it remained highly regarded during
his reign as World Champion. Nimzowitsch, Tartakover, and Flohr
became permanent converts. More recently, Petrosyan. But most
masters could not warm to its dullness until Botvinnik fashioned it into
a precision weapon in his title matches against Smyslov and Tal.
(Ironically, it was his Panov-Botvinnik attack which nearly put the
Caro-Kann out of commission in the 1930s.) Currently it is considered
safe, a possible means of reaching an early end-game, though lacking
the dynamic imbalance which produces winning chess. Its drawish
reputation remains undiminished.
The Caro-Kann is characterized by 1...
P-QB3, preparing 2...P-Q4 which in turn
challenges the centre without imprisoning Black's
Queen's Bishop. White enjoys greater mobility,
and often a slight initiative, but Black's porcu-
pine-like position is difficult to penetrate.
The Panov Attack 1 P-K4, P-QB3; 2
P-Q4, P-Q4; 3 PxP, PxP; 4 P-QB4
(cols. 1-13) is still critical. White threatens to
transpose into favourable variations of the
Queen's Gambit Accepted, or to establish a lasting bind with P-QB5
at some stage. Black can equalize, but he must know how.
The Main Line 1 P-K4, P-QB3; 2 P-Q4, P-Q4; 3 N-QB3,
PxP; 4 NxP, B-B4 (cols. 16-20) exposes Black to few dangers,
thought he must be prepared to weather White's slight initiative.
The Advance Variation 1 P-K4, P-QB3; 2 P-Q4, P-Q4;
3 P-K5 has been given new life by Tal, but with care Black can avoid
any disadvantage. The locked pawn structure gives Black strategical
opportunities, if he can avoid a quick knock-out. (Cols. 26-30.)
The Two Knights' Variation 1 P-K4, P-QB3; 2 N-QB3,
P-Q4; 3 N-B3 produces fancy footwork where Black can hold his
own. (Cols. 31-42.)
Unusual approaches for White are handled in cols. 43-45. Note-
worthy, but containing no terror for Black, is the transposition into
a reverse King's Indian with 2 P-Q3.
Evans, Larry, and Walter Korn. 1965. Modern Chess Openings, 10th Edition. New York: Pitman Publishing Corporation.

After e4 c6 d4 d5 e5, I think black is too cramped. Every time i play the caro kann, I lose

Id just like to take this opportunity to say that The Scando is the poor mans Caro-Kann, people play the CK because of its variety, it can lead to many different kinds of positions.

Id just like to take this opportunity to say that The Scando is the poor mans Caro-Kann, people play the CK because of its variety, it can lead to many different kinds of positions.

It's rather amusing that someone would cite the state-of-the-art summary from a book that's over fifty years old. ;-)
I like the Caro because it's solid and usually leads to the types of positions that I enjoy. It also helps that many opponents aren't terribly familiar with it. While there are drawish lines, there's nothing inherently drawish about the opening. I have no trouble finding ways to play for a win with it.

Id just like to take this opportunity to say that The Scando is the poor mans Caro-Kann, people play the CK because of its variety, it can lead to many different kinds of positions.
Quite a few of those are boring as hell imo, I have played both and concluded that the Scandinavian is much more exciting (usually).
really? I wonder why that should be. hmmmmm.

I also find that if someone isn't prepared it leads to black controlling much of the centre, but failing that it does offer great counter options.

ECO chapters dedicated to
Sicilian: 80
French: 20
Caro-Kann: 10
Just for the sake of narrowing down what you need to know, it doesn't look bad.

After e4 c6 d4 d5 e5, I think black is too cramped. Every time i play the caro kann, I lose
The simple answer is that you should play Bf5 and see that your QB is more active than in a French.
The October 2016 issue of Chess lists the top twenty openings compiled from a list of 1874 August games where both players were rated over 2400 Elo. One can not take position on this list too seriously because it is greatly influenced by how the openings are grouped. For example, all the Retis are grouped together, while English is separated into 1 ... c5, 1 ... e5, etc. Nevertheless, for what it is worth, some of the list entries report: 66 Najdorf Sicilians, 60 Caro Kanns, 48 2 Nf3 d6 sideline Sicilians, 46 Berlin Ruy Lopezes, 40 Kan Sicilians, and 35 Taimanov Sicilians.

^^Lol, good one. On another note, I am surprised that the list provided by @kindaspongey does not feature any french defence games.

What's good about threating people and calling them old, cowards and sore losers?
He is making fun of the opening, it is just a joke, the caro has a reputation (relatively bad) of being dull and drawish. I admit that he made fun of old people, but when did he say cowards or sore losers?
After e4 c6 d4 d5 e5, I think black is too cramped. Every time i play the caro kann, I lose