XonTheHumblest: A collection

This is a collection of many stories written by xonthehumblest.

What does KYS Stand for?

Lately many people have been telling me "kys", I have concluded that it stands for "Krab Yelled Second". I have concluded this because after I told them "kys means krab yelled second?" then they started to cheer "KYS!!!" and therefore i concluded that they had agreed with me.

But, people have been changing the subject on me when i asked them if thats what it meant. My best pal larry even chuckled when i asked him. This can only mean one thing, the world has created more that one meaning for this word.

Alas, when i went to brazil to investigate this on the southern rainforests of the amazon. I met a peculuar group of people known as the mongols, I studied their ways and learned from them and lived among them for many years and eventually they accepted me as one of their own. 

We respected each other by hunting and capturing wild sharks, tearing the fur off of them and awarding the skins to the people we respected. I was known to them as Achamala and soon after catching many sharks i found a suit of armor in the stomach of the shark. The armor breast plate had and engraving that specificly had the letters "K Y S" imprinted on the center of it. Below the letters was a picture of a crab. I conclued that their must have been some connection between the two, but i could'nt quite decipher it. So i took a closer look at the crab it had its mouth open and looked like it was yelling. So this meant for me that the y in kys was yelling/yelled.

I looked for any extra hints on the armor and i found on the inside of the armor an engraving of another crab. This crab held one of its fingers up and seemed like it was yelling as well. I concluded that the hand sign meant that this crab yelled first. And since it yelled first it only could mean that the other crab yelled second. That is the s in kys comes from. Now i think that the idiots who made the armor did not have a proper education because it should have been Cys but they spelled "crab" Wrong and i realized this because most of the sharks have 4 gills. Therefore the armor was crafted by an idiot.

But, people i assume have not seen this armor and have been going around telling people "kys" now i have tried to find other solutions to the letters but none of them made sence. 

What i had was "King Yearned Salmon" but i had no connection or evidence. I also had "kentucky yellow snakes" but i went to kentucky and all i found was vintagepawn and some fried chicken. But thats another story. People arent telling what this means, Though i have concluded on the krab, people still laugh at me. I wonder if anybody is trying to hide it, because if i find out that you have been hiding this information from me, Ill let you right now, That i have a very specific set of skills, skills i have aquired of a long career, skills that make people dream of my power in fear,Skills that make you look like a speck in a giant universe. If you know, and tell me this information i willlet you live, but if you withheld it from me, I will find you and i will Humblify you.....

13 years into the future

It was a dark night, very dark. I sought out to the corner store for some candy and whatnot but alas, i was stopped by a  pack of wild chess addicts. They snarled and threw rooks at me. The natural reaction would be to run away fearing your life. But i knew better, i walked right past them and the moment one of them tried to strike, i threw their queen away. This would distract them long enough for me to get past. Anywho i was headed for the library because i completely forgot aboot candy for the time being, and heard a local rumor that hitler was jewish. I looked among the shelves of the endless corridors of bookshelves the library and one particular book standed out to me. It was called "Mine Kamf" which in african means "Fried chicken". I pulled the book off the shelf and the moment i did, the shelve moved back to reveal a secret passage. The book obviously had something to do with this so i took the book and headed down the dusty corridor.

It was dark, but somehow, there were torches that lined the cobblestone walls. They were somehow infinitly lit, this factor puzzled me but i have solved this. Here let me explain before we get into the time travel. (i went back up the passage to the library shelves, only to find a man with a classic tommy pointed straight at me, i dodged the shots and pasted him right in the nose. i Looked closer at the book and found out it was dusted. which means that people use this passage before. I looked deeper into the matter and it turns out el chapo was involved but thats another story.) As i moved deeper into the foul stenched passage i realized that i was being followed. i slid down the passage due to the fact that the cobblestone stairway gave out and turned into a ramp. 

I saw the spikes before they saw me. It's a Trap! i quickly punched through the spikes as i landed at the bottom of the passage. The room was dark and musty, no suprise there. 200 feet underground and what i didnt realize at the time was that this was hiitlers underground bunker.But anyways, i walked into a giant room that looked like a tomb... there were coffins lined up on the walls on each of the walls.  A  cold chill ran down my spine as i walked into the room, there was one object in the room that particularly standed out to me. It was on a shrine in the center. The object glowed blue from each of the sides and had a deafening aura, In the center there was a big red button. 

I dont know what compelled me to press the button, but i did and instantly regretted it. I wish there was some kind of warning sign like right above the button. AH! i remember. There was, it said "DO NOT PRESS BUTTON" but that sign only compelled me to press it even more. Anyways. why i regretted this is because i was sent into a portal of spinning blues greens and reds. There was no yellows and this is an important key factor. ill explain why. You know how radiation can kill you? well i survived blue green and red radiation but if there was any yellow it would have killed me. If you dont get this, just listen. Blue-red radiation is hardly dangerous but yellow. its on a whole nother level. You know how yellow is the main colour of the radiation symbol? whell its there for a reason.

ok now that i epxlained. on with the story.

I landed somewhere very populated and very ahead of our regular time in technology. Probably the bronx. I  walked around slowly in amazement and then a cop flew over on a hoverboard and told me to get back in line. I didnt know what he was talking about so i punched his board and he exploded with it. Turns out, this time has a totalitionary government, meaning every persons every move is controlled by the government. anyways, soon i was under arrest for destroying property of a police man. I didnt go without a fight though. I beat up all the cops trying to take me in and then the vet got involved. The vet may not be what you think he is. Vet is

V=very

E=educationed in

T=termination

so they tried to kill me and stuff and i remember i fell asleep during the battle. Soon i awoke to a jail cell with lazer bars. I thought to myself "what a corrupt society" and then i realized that it was my fault that this timeline was ruined, think about it. because i was not present in the past 13 years ago, society became corrupt and without my humblilities everybody was doomed from the start. So i realized i had to fix this mess so i broke down the jail house and destroyed the city. the next thing i did was travel back in time to stop myself from going to the future in the first place. 

I transported back to the stairway from the beginning and what happened was, the time space continuum had a breakdown for one second and glitched the stairway. it turned into a ramp and i slid down. At the bottom were broken spikes and a set of footprints to match my own. this could only mean one thing. i was here before. so i went into the future after my past self to stop myself from going into the future and soon enough there were 50 Xon's and then the universe exploded. This is what is known as the Humble Paradox.

How I Destroyed Carlsen: The Explanation

Alas-Chess World Champion Magnus Carlsen has recently been deafeated by yours truly, me. Simply put, I beat Mr. Clean at his own game, it may have been tough but in the end my humbility took him to the extreme.

Hmm? You want the analysis? Well fine, but it wont do you any good because my capabilitys are more than most of you can comprehend.

Magnus played, how should I put it, pragmatic as he attempted to do everything to get the best results, he is claimed to be a positional player but I dissagree, see i think he likes to play with a little risk, or even strike with lethal attacks but in the end it all comes up to "Your Humbility Will Take You Where Thousands, Even Millions Of People Would Think You Could Not Go" and in the end i had more humbility

Now for some more quotes:

"Are you talkin to me? you want my autograph or somethin?"

"You want a lesson from me, and ill give you one, Lets go!!"

Heres the game:

Hmm? Whats that? the pictures are fake? LIES! If you dont believe me, logozar was (totally) the one to snap them.

anyways im late for my date with fate see ya- xonthehumblest

What a great time