wow good poem
I novelized fighting in chess
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Atomic Chess:
>White Queen steps out from behind the pawns
>She has a bomb strapped to her waist
>Black Knight leaps out, ready for battle
>White Queen zips past the entire board, an explosion rings across the black side
>Black King is not in check, he is literally dead
>The Black pieces rue the loss of their king to such a tragic end
>The White pieces do an organized victory dance
Duck Chess:
>White King makes his first move by moving a pawn
>Black King stands idly by, laughing in pity at his foe
>White King is confused
>White Queen suddenly collapses to the ground, dead
>White King looks on in horror as a malevolent force consumes the battlefield
>The Duck appears behind the White King
>White King picks the duck up and throws it at his enemies
>Black King screams in terror as the duck crushes his rib cage
>The Duck refuses to elaborate
>The Duck leaves
Crazyhouse:
>White King moves his pawn
>Black King takes it and uses it against White King
>White King retaliates by stealing the Black Knight
>Black King retaliates by stealing the White Bishop
>White King retaliates by stealing the Black Rook
>Black King retaliates by stealing the White Queen
>White King retaliates by stealing the Black King
>Black King retaliates by stealing every piece at once
>White King takes the board itself
>Black King takes the person controlling the white side
>White King takes away the earth
>Black King takes away the solar system
>White King takes away the milky way galaxy
>Black King takes away the Laniakea Supercluster
>White King takes away the observable universe
>Black King takes away reality
>White King takes away every reality
>Black King has been checkmated
With every single available chess piece in the custom variant engine, including every fairy piece as listed in the custom position menu.
Why? because I'm crazy.
> Pawn charges headfirst into combat
>Knight ponders on where to make his great leap
>Bishop prides himself on the bend in his hat
>Rook stands still as a tower, waiting for the time to come
>Queen glides across the board radiating with immense strength
>King hides behind his men as he waits for this to blow over
>Wazir suddenly stumbles into the scene with great confusion
>Long Knight leaps in with a look of superiority
>The ground shakes as Dababa trips over his own feet
>Alfil furrows his tusks as he drones about his diagonal family heritage, Bishop rolls his eyes
>Ferz screams at everybody to do his bidding, nobody is listening
>Soldier blindly advances, to Pawn's dismay
>Xiangqi Horse has no clue what orthogonal means
>Chancellor's stare pierces his foes, his stance rigid as iron
>Berolina dances around in contrast to the bloody conflict at hand
>Dragon Bishop struggles to keep his styrofoam dragon wings on as he moves orthogonally, Xiangqi Horse is even more confused now
>Stone General doesn't know what to do, so he carries a boulder
>Grasshopper leaps back and forth like an absolute nuisance
>Archbishop brings inescapable despair with his fluid movements
>Alibaba jumps all over the place, somehow never getting hit
>Knight Rider has another horse head in his back, he is writhing in pain
>Sergeant defies Pawn's three laws of movement and readies a grenade
>Wildebeast argues with Dragon Bishop about orthogons, Xiangqi screams in confusion
>Camel Rider lies on the ground with Knight Rider
>Dababa Rider crashes into a tree
>Alfil Rider breaks his knee because elephants can't jump
>General charges forth, ruing the loss of his paycheck
>Alibaba Rider defies all known laws of aviation as he jumps around
>Amazon breaks loose, the very earth trembles with its might
>Brick sits there, impervious to everybody's blows
>Transparent Brick sits next to brick, invisible to the naked eye
> 1 Point Queen struggles to hide the fact that he's actually a guy from the others
>Duck stares onward through the bushes, soulless in its gaze