Anger with chess

Hello all!

Recently I was playing a OTB tournament, was in a convincingly winning position then lost. I was devastated and wanted to leave early. Nevertheless I stayed and played the final game. I was emotionally distracted and had mentally already lost compared to my opponent who was in the running for a trophy. Believe it or not I lost, and I was fine with that one game but my prior loss ate away at my thoughts and only took a good night sleep to get out of my mind.  Moreover, that night I was very distressed and took some effort to get appeased by my wonderful mother. 

Additionally, the day I post this I went to my school chess club and played a school tournament game. I was playing 5 min each clock time control and was winning then lost on time. I know some of you fiends are just thinking ‘skill issue’ but the larger problem is how i manage the loss. I was very angry with myself, and was depressed when I got home. I emotionally recovered quicker this time but alas I still got distressed.

I do not want to just quit chess but how I effects me emotionally is concerning. This is one of my passions (yes plural) and I have studied and do not want to say: “yep, I’m done”.

Could you please give me some genuine advice about how to emotionally regulate well because I am getting very angry with myself.

Some of you thinking may just be thinking ask a psychologist, but they may not understand. I need to hear it from the community that shares this passion with me and can understand first hand what this feels like.

Thank you. Have a good day. God bless.