Chess Limericks

But he won with a three pawn attack

An avid chess player callled Ness,

Spent all his spare time playing chess,

His good wife named Mabel,

Was willing and able,

But that was one move he missed on I guess.

An avid collector John Keeling,

Had chess sets stacked to the ceiling,

But it was all out of whack,

For no pieces were black,

'Twas his blatant racism revealing.

The limericks had started to catch on

Everyone thought they would live long

All across the site

From morning 'till night

Limericks would come until the dawn

I enjoy winning games by checkmate,

But stalemates I really do hate,

I'll take a point for a draw,

To add to my score,

Or a forfeit, should you come late.

A lady chess player named Bat Girl,

Said I'll give these here limericks a whirl,

You may never guess,

But I'm mad on strip-chess,

And I will do things that'll make your toes curl.

A regular player The Grobe,

Sought my defenses to probe,

His attack on C6,

Had me in quite a fix,

For if I lost I had to disrobe.

Palindrome-lovin' mudahs 'n' fadahs

Teach your headbangin' sons and daughtahs

There's no point in waitin'

I suggest start with, "Satan,

Oscillate My Metallic Sonatas"

The appeal of limericks 'bout chess
Is quite likely limited, I'd guess
To chess playing poets
With desire to show it
In the hopes that their chops will impress

A chess player who hailed from Canada,

Atttended a tournament held in Granada,

His attack on E5,

Did not survive,

For it neither was one or the ada.

A player named theWeaponking,

Said making chess rhymes is my thing,

My fine amphimacer,

Takes off like a racer,

And my Iambic Pentameter doth ring.

A chess player player named bugoobiga,

Remarked with barely a snigger,

I searched the fora for grist,

For any rhymes I have missed,

But my rating fell to zero - go figger.

Long live my immortal Limerick!

Let it outshine Melville's 'Moby Dick'

Eons from now

Historians will frown

'He couldn't even rhyme, that prick'

"vow" not "frown"

A young chess player named Della,

Painted his penis bright yella,

He used it again and again,

To move his chess-men,

His fluorescent prehensile "old fella".

Mrs. O'Malley was told at the party

That her 239-Bean Soup was hearty

But when asked to define

How she chose 239

She said, "One more would make it 240."

240 should be pronounced too farty, to simulate an Irish accent.

Well BAG062A,

I know but I will not say,

To work out the rhyme,

You will have to take time,

To learn how some other way.