I haven't written anything on here in a while. I'll have to start again. I've been busy with school lately though, so please have some patience!!!
Chess Limericks
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Weaponking, stick to your studies
Nothing new from you? We're all still buddies
In school, do your best
Pass that next test
Leave the limericks to us fuddy-duddies
In a game I saw a great sight
It looked like I would win the fight
But I hadn't seen
My defenseless queen
I left her en prise to his knight
A knight rode across plains of sod
Carrying a small golden pod
For many a day
He'd been on his way
To see His Majesty King Todd
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He had had a saddlebag installed
To carry the golden box that he hauled
It was some gift
To Todd from King Grift
But the knight knew not what it's called
I learned to play chess at a young age
But only lately have I sought to gauge
My chess-playing skills
Against you guys's kills
One day I might be on the world stage!
Ten months ago I'd chosen to play
Against other folks, one game per day
I've mostly stayed true
To my choice to construe
To improve with God's help every day!
When I see the games of the great
Such inspiration it does instate
To practice my chess
To be one of the best
Maybe some of you guys can relate!
- Well theweaponking. I had never thought of coupling limericks to make a narrative poem, or saga. Thanks for the idea. I will give it a crack. Here goes.
Come all chess players young and hoary,
Come here and listen to my story,
Of a young chess player Thomas Della,
And a tournament ref named Jules McKella,
And a chess comp bound for glory
============================
As you read in silent wonder,
Of this tale of thud and blunder,
Of the quandry of our Jules,
Over the competiton rules,
In this great comp held down under.
===================================
Now this young chess player Thomas Della,
Painted his penis fluoro yella,
And he used it again and again,
To move his chess-men,
His fluorescent prehensile "old fella".
==============================
His opponent turned green,
Such a thing he'd ne'er seen,
But he thought I've the knack,
I'll arrange a wee sac,
So he painted super glue on his queen.
=================================
Thomas Della with great flair,
Sought the queen to ensnare,
As the queen he did nab,
His penis missed with its grab,
And the queen stuck in his thick pubic hair.
===========================
Now his opponent to assist,
Reached out quickly, but missed,
He tried to give Tom a hand,
With a gesture so grand,
But the queen got stuck to his wrist.
============================
The tournament ref our good Jules,
Read thoroughly through all the rules,
As they hopped around the room,
Like a mad duo of doom,
Thinking, how do I evict these fools?
===================================
As news flew round the nation,
Of this insane situation,
Jules thought. "What the heck,
The comp's an absolute wreck,
So he declared a new rule, "checkabation".
================================
Not bad uffruffEcckio.
A DAVID AND GOLIATH STORY
A magical flower named Jeeves
Played chess each day with the fallen leaves
From the big old oak
Who boastfully spoke
Of his chess skills, Serage van Hargreaves
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He talked of his skill day after day
He always had something smart to say
All of the leaves
And also Sir Jeeves
Wished the old oak would just go away
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One day while Jeeves was out in the yard
Playing chess with his friend Leaf Gerard
Overheard the tree
Exclaim with great glee
That he had just beaten Mr. Bard
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Mr. Bard was no slouch at the game
But unfortunately he was lame
His condition made
A painful blockade
Of his hobby strolling down the lane
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Jeeves went into a fit of blind rage
And moved fast because of his young age
He rose up quickly
And went to the tree
And told him, "I challenge you Serage!"
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The tree was still cocky as ever
And what must have to him seemed quite clever
Consented to play
The very next day
And prove that he was the best ever
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The next day Jeeves was out in the yard
Talking nervously with Mr. Bard
"You'll do just fine boy"
He said filled with joy
"Now go crush that big arrogant retard."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Serage was waiting when Jeeves showed up
He looked about ready to throw up
Before coming here
He guzzled a beer
Made from sap from an old wooden cup
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He was sick but he agreed to play
Jeeves on this messed up terrible day
He prepared to fight
It was a strange sight
He moved in a very akward way
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He was playing as white and went first
Then ordered some beer to quench his thirst
While he drank the draught
Jeeves was deep in thought
About how things would go at their worst
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He finally made his first reply
And it attracted Serage's eye
The moves then flew past
Until then at last
It was clear Serage had played the Ruy
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The rest of the game passed in an hour
And the audience hailed the young flower
He had won the game
And won himself fame
And made Serage bitter and sour
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After the game a very large host
Did what they had wanted to the most
They mocked old Serage
And for every age
Afterwards never once did he boast
A chess playing bloke from Cape Cod,
Who said his strategies all came from God,
But old God it was not,
Who improved his lot,
But a chess engine, the cheating old sod.
=================================
Aha! got it at alst in English.
That's alright uffruffEcckio. Not a bad one.
How was mine about the flower by the way?
Great mate. How's your studies going. I'm up listening to us beating the Poms at cricket. It is 0230 in Brissie.
My studies are going just dandy
Mechanical pencils sure are handy
Right now at the school
There is something cool
They're selling tasty chocolate candy
We're taking geometry this year
And I'm just about bored to tears
They have now returned
But I thought I learned
My shapes back in my childhood years
May you use your Euclid to study on,
'Till the day that your studies are gone,
May not any triangle,
Get you into a tangle,
Much less a dodecahedron.
Aussies find TimTams all right,
With their tea and coffee at night,
But too many each day,
Cause severe tooth decay,
Thus their molars are not a great sight.
The cricket is over I see,
And I now can declare with great glee,
I can now go to bed,
With a competely clear head,
And not weep o'er my TimTams and tea.
====================================
I experience much joy in their beating,
Whom our side excelled in defeating,
Their batting was skittish,
Those hopeless damn British,
So they soon will restart all their bleating.
A limerick has about 9 syllables in the first two and fifth lines and about 5 syllables in the thrid and fourth lines. The first two and the fifth lines should rhyme and the third and fourth lines should rhyme. That's not always the case on here though.