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JustJackinIt wrote:
Parents should not let their kids have chess.com accounts. Or at the very least they should enable safe mode, so the kids can't run wild like this.
This is such a thoughtful, nice, and intelligent post, that I am very tempted to block you.
As further proof of the axiom laid out in the original post (the more intelligent a post, the less comments it gets), we present this unholy thread as evidence.
1e41-0 wrote:
1d41-0 wrote:
As further proof of the axiom laid out in the original post (the more intelligent a post, the less comments it gets), we present this unholy thread as evidence.
Change the title to "Are men better than women at chess?" and you'll get lots of comments immediately. At least, according to the original post...
Some of the "Hot Topics" right now: Chess Hangman. When I play with female players. 10 threads about Bulldog Chess. Daily Puzzle.
Yeah, I was right.
Jan 5, 2019
0
#6
ghost_of_pushwood wrote:
Communists drink vodka!
In communism vodka drinks you
ghost_of_pushwood wrote:
I laughed till I stopped!
What stopped, you or your heart?
ghost_of_pushwood wrote:
Or at least, they did drink it. Now I guess they drink whatever they can get their hands on.
KVASS, my friend, KVASS.
melvinbluestone wrote:
- You want to feel sorry for yourself, don’t you? With so much at stake, all you can think of is your own feelings. One woman has hurt you, and you take your revenge on the rest of the world. You’re a coward and a weakling.
Sorry, but why are you talking in front of a mirror?
I see we've reached page two. Time for another post extolling (not to be confused with extorting) chess.com! See below:
Chess.com is arguably one of the most fun and best sites on the internet, rivaling FaintBook, Twit-er, and NoobTube. Here is one reason why chess.com is simply the greatest site in the net! (Please leave more reasons in the comments!)
Average IQ
As many scientific studies (for those on this site who know what those are) have shown, the average IQ (for those who don't know, IQ = Idiot Quantity) on the internet is significantly higher. While the average IQ in the real world is about 100, on the internet the number is closer to about 150 (for those who don't know what these numbers mean, they show how many idiots there are per 100 people).
Take, for example, our favorite chess.com forums. We can generally divide all forum posts into the following categories:
a) Spam (even less nutritious than the food type).
b) Redundancy (would Boby Fisher beat Magnus Carson? If so, would he beat Fabiano Maria Caruana?)
c) Trolling (an exemplary example of this is this very post -- dear reader, you are lucky!)
d) CREATE A NEW OPENING TODAY! Makes 99% of the chessplaying people on this site commit suicide.
e) Other
Where does the number 150 come from? Well, some people are just so stupid that they start threads in one or more of these categories! Some have even managed all 6! (Also, no one cares about counting on the internet).
Need further examples? Just log into live chess! Every day you will find an extravagant amount of people who are willing to:
a) Swear
b) Accuse you of Cheating
c) Flag you
d) All of the above
h) Not know the alphabet
If you need any help finding idiots your age, please contact the Idiot Hotline by:
If you don't know the alphabet:
1. Call 1-800-333-IDIOT
or, for those who don't know how to count to 8, visit the following website:
whitehouse.gov
1d41-0 wrote:
The following is for new members who may not yet be familiar with the mysterious ways and doings of chess.com. Older members may need a refresher as well.
When responding to a thread:
If the thread is interesting, thoughtful, asks something new, or in any other way resembles something intelligent, immediately do the following:
a) Direct your vilest insults at the original poster. Extra points for swear words.
b) Follow the three s's: Spam, Spam, and Spam.
c) Toilet humor works excellently, and most chess.com members are just about reaching the age when that is most appropriate.
d) Crude humor is always nice.
e) Post 123456789 19 times in a row.
f) Accuse the OP of cheating by posting his worst games as evidence.
If the thread follows the guidelines listed in the next section, AT ONCE make sure it gets as many comments from as you as possible, so that no one notices the interesting threads.
When starting a new thread:
First of all, while accusing someone of cheating may be fun for a while, these threads rarely run for more than 1 or 2 pages. A much better way of attracting attention to your thread is via flame war. Follow the guidelines above, especially part a.
Secondly, simple number games will be very attractive to the dumb members of chess.com, of which there are many. Plus, these threads are sure to get lots of comments. Adding trophies will add even more excitement.
Thirdly, create a new opening on the spot! This will draw all the strong chessplaying members -- and thus the least valuable ones -- into your thread, demolishing your opening within seconds. But that doesn't really matter; it just means that all the interesting threads will get even less attention.
Fourthly, post a topic that has been posted at least 1000 times already (be careful to count this accurately) and has been discussed ad infinidum. Examples include: Are men better than women at chess? What's better, knight or bishop? Is Magnus Fartsen better than bobby Fisher? (bonus points for misspellings).
Lastly, post something so completely unrelated to chess that Facebook considers buying chess.com at a very,very, veryhigh price.
Follow these and you will be well on your way to become one of the best members on chess.com!
My sincerest condolences to you.
Take your meds. It is good for you. And the rest of us. Believe u me.
ghost_of_pushwood wrote:
The thread just gets wackier.
Sew it back together!
joseph1000000 wrote:
1d41-0 wrote:
The following is for new members who may not yet be familiar with the mysterious ways and doings of chess.com. Older members may need a refresher as well.
When responding to a thread:
If the thread is interesting, thoughtful, asks something new, or in any other way resembles something intelligent, immediately do the following:
a) Direct your vilest insults at the original poster. Extra points for swear words.
b) Follow the three s's: Spam, Spam, and Spam.
c) Toilet humor works excellently, and most chess.com members are just about reaching the age when that is most appropriate.
d) Crude humor is always nice.
e) Post 123456789 19 times in a row.
f) Accuse the OP of cheating by posting his worst games as evidence.
If the thread follows the guidelines listed in the next section, AT ONCE make sure it gets as many comments from as you as possible, so that no one notices the interesting threads.
When starting a new thread:
First of all, while accusing someone of cheating may be fun for a while, these threads rarely run for more than 1 or 2 pages. A much better way of attracting attention to your thread is via flame war. Follow the guidelines above, especially part a.
Secondly, simple number games will be very attractive to the dumb members of chess.com, of which there are many. Plus, these threads are sure to get lots of comments. Adding trophies will add even more excitement.
Thirdly, create a new opening on the spot! This will draw all the strong chessplaying members -- and thus the least valuable ones -- into your thread, demolishing your opening within seconds. But that doesn't really matter; it just means that all the interesting threads will get even less attention.
Fourthly, post a topic that has been posted at least 1000 times already (be careful to count this accurately) and has been discussed ad infinidum. Examples include: Are men better than women at chess? What's better, knight or bishop? Is Magnus Fartsen better than bobby Fisher? (bonus points for misspellings).
Lastly, post something so completely unrelated to chess that Facebook considers buying chess.com at a very,very, veryhigh price.
Follow these and you will be well on your way to become one of the best members on chess.com!
My sincerest condolences to you.
Take your meds. It is good for you. And the rest of us. Believe u me.
Talking to yourself again? First sign of madness.
fairytalebeast wrote:
yeah socks, and tell russkie vodka guy not to insult americans... they saved the world in ww2... respect bro...
That is at least debatable. While they certainly played a part in winning World War II, I will mention two things:
1. The fighting occurred in Europe, not in America.
2. Most of the casualties were not American, but Soviet:
Russian casualties: 8,800,000-10,700,000
American casualties: 416,800.
It's unclear who contributed most to Winning World War II: The US, the UK, or the Soviet Union. Polling has shown that Americans generally have a higher opinion of themselves in this regard than in other countries: see https://yougov.co.uk/topics/politics/articles-reports/2015/05/01/Britain-America-disagree-who-did-more-beat-nazis
BTW, I'm pretty sure ViktorOlgavichs's comment was meant as tongue-in-cheeck.
fairytalebeast wrote:
mr Olgavich was not being in cheek... reason being russians have no sense of humour... have you ever seen a russian smile? as for ww2, russia sustained horrible casualties for a few reasons... obviously much battle was in their hood, but red army soldiers were treated like cattle... with insane cavalry style charges, being shot by their own side, no retreat and inferior equipment... if the states had not got onboard and kicked butt the war2 be lost bro... stuff like Stalingrad and the Bulge would not have been won... and this brit is grateful US was there to save us. so, i just think vodka breath should give some respect quite frankly... Uncle Sam saved them from facism and communism and neo socialism... nowadays they can buy scotch and jim beam and stuff... and a little gratitude would be appreciated...
1. I know for a fact that Olgavich is not Russian;
2. You are bringing this thread off topic;
3. If you can classify such a harmless post as being "Anti-American", I can just as easily classify yours as being Anti-Russian ("vodka breath")...
fairytalebeast wrote:
oh right, and how do you know, for a fact, he is not russian? and if he is russian, how was i meant to know? when somebody has a russian name, a russian flag, and says they are russian... i just presume they might be russian? by the same logic... how do we know you are american? as for bringing off topic... you and fake russian did that, by giving derogatory quote and ww2 casualty stats!? gawd... some patriot you are... i thank US for saving free world and you gurn like a socialist with PMS... i do apologise to mr fake Oglovich... for the use of the term vodka breath... and hope his feelings are not too hurt, sincerely...
You have derailed this thread into a political discussion. If I bring up statistics, that means I am not a patriot?
You are a xenophobe. Blocked.
1d41-0 wrote:
joseph1000000 wrote:
1d41-0 wrote:
The following is for new members who may not yet be familiar with the mysterious ways and doings of chess.com. Older members may need a refresher as well.
When responding to a thread:
If the thread is interesting, thoughtful, asks something new, or in any other way resembles something intelligent, immediately do the following:
a) Direct your vilest insults at the original poster. Extra points for swear words.
b) Follow the three s's: Spam, Spam, and Spam.
c) Toilet humor works excellently, and most chess.com members are just about reaching the age when that is most appropriate.
d) Crude humor is always nice.
e) Post 123456789 19 times in a row.
f) Accuse the OP of cheating by posting his worst games as evidence.
If the thread follows the guidelines listed in the next section, AT ONCE make sure it gets as many comments from as you as possible, so that no one notices the interesting threads.
When starting a new thread:
First of all, while accusing someone of cheating may be fun for a while, these threads rarely run for more than 1 or 2 pages. A much better way of attracting attention to your thread is via flame war. Follow the guidelines above, especially part a.
Secondly, simple number games will be very attractive to the dumb members of chess.com, of which there are many. Plus, these threads are sure to get lots of comments. Adding trophies will add even more excitement.
Thirdly, create a new opening on the spot! This will draw all the strong chessplaying members -- and thus the least valuable ones -- into your thread, demolishing your opening within seconds. But that doesn't really matter; it just means that all the interesting threads will get even less attention.
Fourthly, post a topic that has been posted at least 1000 times already (be careful to count this accurately) and has been discussed ad infinidum. Examples include: Are men better than women at chess? What's better, knight or bishop? Is Magnus Fartsen better than bobby Fisher? (bonus points for misspellings).
Lastly, post something so completely unrelated to chess that Facebook considers buying chess.com at a very,very, veryhigh price.
Follow these and you will be well on your way to become one of the best members on chess.com!
My sincerest condolences to you.
Take your meds. It is good for you. And the rest of us. Believe u me.
Talking to yourself again? First sign of madness.
No you fool. You talk bull... Too much. You don't have a life obviously. Get one hill billy.
joseph1000000 wrote:
1d41-0 wrote:
joseph1000000 wrote:
1d41-0 wrote:
The following is for new members who may not yet be familiar with the mysterious ways and doings of chess.com. Older members may need a refresher as well.
When responding to a thread:
If the thread is interesting, thoughtful, asks something new, or in any other way resembles something intelligent, immediately do the following:
a) Direct your vilest insults at the original poster. Extra points for swear words.
b) Follow the three s's: Spam, Spam, and Spam.
c) Toilet humor works excellently, and most chess.com members are just about reaching the age when that is most appropriate.
d) Crude humor is always nice.
e) Post 123456789 19 times in a row.
f) Accuse the OP of cheating by posting his worst games as evidence.
If the thread follows the guidelines listed in the next section, AT ONCE make sure it gets as many comments from as you as possible, so that no one notices the interesting threads.
When starting a new thread:
First of all, while accusing someone of cheating may be fun for a while, these threads rarely run for more than 1 or 2 pages. A much better way of attracting attention to your thread is via flame war. Follow the guidelines above, especially part a.
Secondly, simple number games will be very attractive to the dumb members of chess.com, of which there are many. Plus, these threads are sure to get lots of comments. Adding trophies will add even more excitement.
Thirdly, create a new opening on the spot! This will draw all the strong chessplaying members -- and thus the least valuable ones -- into your thread, demolishing your opening within seconds. But that doesn't really matter; it just means that all the interesting threads will get even less attention.
Fourthly, post a topic that has been posted at least 1000 times already (be careful to count this accurately) and has been discussed ad infinidum. Examples include: Are men better than women at chess? What's better, knight or bishop? Is Magnus Fartsen better than bobby Fisher? (bonus points for misspellings).
Lastly, post something so completely unrelated to chess that Facebook considers buying chess.com at a very,very, veryhigh price.
Follow these and you will be well on your way to become one of the best members on chess.com!
My sincerest condolences to you.
Take your meds. It is good for you. And the rest of us. Believe u me.
Talking to yourself again? First sign of madness.
No you fool. You talk bull... Too much. You don't have a life obviously. Get one hill billy.
Yet another chess.com member who talks about no one but himself! Sad!
The following is for new members who may not yet be familiar with the mysterious ways and doings of chess.com. Older members may need a refresher as well.
When responding to a thread:
If the thread is interesting, thoughtful, asks something new, or in any other way resembles something intelligent, immediately do the following:
a) Direct your vilest insults at the original poster. Extra points for swear words.
b) Follow the three s's: Spam, Spam, and Spam.
c) Toilet humor works excellently, and most chess.com members are just about reaching the age when that is most appropriate.
d) Crude humor is always nice.
e) Post 123456789 19 times in a row.
f) Accuse the OP of cheating by posting his worst games as evidence.
If the thread follows the guidelines listed in the next section, AT ONCE make sure it gets as many comments from as you as possible, so that no one notices the interesting threads.
When starting a new thread:
First of all, while accusing someone of cheating may be fun for a while, these threads rarely run for more than 1 or 2 pages. A much better way of attracting attention to your thread is via flame war. Follow the guidelines above, especially part a.
Secondly, simple number games will be very attractive to the dumb members of chess.com, of which there are many. Plus, these threads are sure to get lots of comments. Adding trophies will add even more excitement.
Thirdly, create a new opening on the spot! This will draw all the strong chessplaying members -- and thus the least valuable ones -- into your thread, demolishing your opening within seconds. But that doesn't really matter; it just means that all the interesting threads will get even less attention.
Fourthly, post a topic that has been posted at least 1000 times already (be careful to count this accurately) and has been discussed ad infinidum. Examples include: Are men better than women at chess? What's better, knight or bishop? Is Magnus Fartsen better than bobby Fisher? (bonus points for misspellings).
Lastly, post something so completely unrelated to chess that Facebook considers buying chess.com at a very,very, veryhigh price.
Follow these and you will be well on your way to become one of the best members on chess.com!
My sincerest condolences to you.