Friend etiquette... To friend or not to friend that is the question?

I have an etiquette question.

I am new actually using this site.  I have literally only a handful of friends.  I am used to making friends after actually playing someone or maybe discussing something on a thread or about a game at other non chess sites.  I had a couple of friend requests out of the blue.  No greeting, we never played.

Is it proper to say hello?  Or ask why?  Or is that considered too forward, challenging?  I do not like to deny and look forward to meeting interesting people and getting some good games in but I am not looking for friends just for friends sake.  

I mean you would think my photo should scare folks away.....

Just wondering what other peoples thoughts are on this......

its friendly!  lol

I get that.   : )   

Perhaps....    

I asked because a couple requests came thru.  No game challenges, no interaction.  What's the point?  I know some people collect friends on fb like sand on the beach......    Hmmmm

It is outrage!

It's not really a matter of etiquette, just of personal preference. I ask why.

What is the risk of accepting a stranger friend? None. Unless you fear someone accusing you of Birds of Same Feathers.

actually accepting a friend request is better than asking why.Asking why is a bit of rudeness

If one receive a friend request, accept it. If one receive an enemy request, reject it.

lol

do the hanky panky with them and then do more hanky panky

I never accept friend requests on the internet, it devalues the meaning of friendship, I think. I do not have many friends in RL either, in recent years people are far too self-centred for me to want to be their friend, or have them as my friends.

Nobody should take internet friends seriously. Sometimes it's better to talk with internet friends than RL friends who are Busy. Many internet friends are excellent chatters. Sensitive topics can be discussed with them. RL friends prefer avoiding it.

I have forty six friends on chess.com and I am absolutely certain each and everyone of these fine men and women would come to England for my funeral should I unexpectedly die. There is no false sentiment on the internet. It's all real !

So good to know!!!

I've considered the same thing about chess.com friends @Nghtstalker

Some members send out friend requests like companies send out junk mail. Conversely, some members are very selective or don't accept any friend requests at all. I can understand both sides of the spectrum. Like you, I like a little friendlier communication than just clicking "accept" to every request heading your way. 

Whenever I get a friend request out of the blue, I like to send them a message. Perhaps I am too curious for my own good, but I usually ask how they found me of the millions of members? If they respond to me, then I am accepting the friend request circa 99% of the time and sometimes we even begin in-depth chats because my question starts a conversation. The few that don't respond probably are just spamming requests to everyone and I typically decline those requests. No hard feelings, but I like to at least know my chess.com friends - even if only on a minimal level. 

I actually had the same question as this forum a while back when I had less than 10 friends (I accepted less requests back then). This is that forum, but I got little feedback. https://www.chess.com/forum/view/off-topic/chess-com-friends 

In summary, everyone is different and has different criterion for their chess.com friends to meet. Some are super selective and others will send requests to anyone. Don't take it personal and choose whomever you want. Typically, I will need a reason not to friend someone if they send me a request but I myself don't usually send to many requests out; it is just a matter of preference and everyone is different.

Well u expressed it far better than I!  Especially how some people spam for friends.  I do not like denying.  But if that is all you do what is the point?   I kind of regretted posting this.   But maybe it did spur a discussion.  And I "met" a couple interesting people out of it.

I enter when invited.

And for those who knock on my door..

“welcome to my house. Come freely. Go safely; and leave something of the happiness you bring.”

alas what u wrote sounds like a quote but I cannot place it....   Damn!

I wouldn't regret posting this and besides, it did begin a discussion. "What is the point?" depends on who you are and your goals. Here are some potential ones to note:

- Many players do not accept friend requests from anyone unless they know them in person; these players like the "real" friends and responsibility it brings. These people usually find little point in collecting online "friends" that are just numbers to you. You know almost nothing about them and they seldom find this enough to accept/send a request.

-Some members seek friends (or accept many/all) for advertising reasons. This is true especially for titled chess players, chess streamers and chess writers. Every time you stream, post, or whatever: your "friends" are notified, so they may get more views/comments simply for having more "friends."

-Most obviously, there are also those stereotyped people whom seek as many friends as they can online. Not always, but I find these people to typically be shallow, immature, or with a hole in their heart/confidence issues. For this group, it can be challenging because they constantly feel the void of "real-life friends" and feel that online friends do not fill this void permanently (although it may temporarily). I have nothing against these people, as people, but sometimes having them as online friends is virtually nothing because they seldom interact or message you - they just sit as a number in your friends list and that is about it. This is not fun for anyone and they are human people like you and I. If this last category is you, feel free to message me and we can chat and become a more "real" friend than just a number; just let me know you messaged me because of this forum.