24686 Players currently online!
Man vs. Machine - good luck!
Turn-based games at any time!
Vote for the best move to win!
Do you have what it takes?
Backgammon, Yatzy, and more!
Sharpen your tactical vision!
Get advice and game insights!
Learn from top players & pros!
View millions of master games!
Your virtual chess coach!
Perfect your opening moves!
Test your skills vs. computer!
Find the right private coach!
Can you solve it each day?
Bring it all together!
Beginners, start here!
Make friends & play team games!
News from the world of chess!
Search all Chess.com members!
Find local clubs & events!
Who's the best of your friends?
Read what members are saying!
No problem since i am not a chess player.....as a carlsen is.Years ago i made the spreads numbers for basketball and football in N.Y.,that i was good at.Between that and chasing the young ladies, and then there were years of poker playing.....Hmmmm,i'll go for the females -would keep me young and all that pleasure !
Wait I changed my mind, I would invent the gas powered sneakers and then become a professional hop scotch skipper. Yeah that's it!
And enter a 24 hour scotch hop skip contest with your body building half sister?
Lol, yes but I will need an agent, my half sister is very picky...and she promises to leave her weights behind! Good call!
That's fine for you but some people like a woman who can ruff them up a bit - tenderly of course.
Run into any trouble finding an agent my ex knows a good one, she handled John Hannah all the Pee Wee Herman's as well as Ed Harris.... As you may of guessed, she's a little obsessive and only handles people last name starting with H but you guys can change your name to HinerKleiner, she could have your skip scotch act opening for Bjork, she's that good.
Well I got to say...heck yes sign me up, between her and Blork let those good times roll! But first it would help to know if your ex can get free cable?
Probably not. :( But perhaps could arrange for choice of films on your next flight out of town with extra sacks of assorted nuts thrown in at no additional charge.
Lol, that's still the best offer I had all week! Free flight?
Alright I'm taking that as a maybe!
Probably right, looks like he is saying no to the extra sacks of assorted nuts.
Lol, he looks like he's being interrogated. Guilty!
Right? Next thing he knows they are doing a cavity search for sacks of assorted nuts.
I bet that guy is red.
A heartrob like Justine Beiber...I know you love me..
I would be YODA.
I'm so stupid, splitleaf. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.
Now, everything will work out as I wish!
Don't feel bad a lot of people aren't aware of this method, only recently discovered it myself and, have now adopted it to fulfil my dream of becoming a hypnotist - banking on the hope we get three wishes here.
Tried two already. Didn't work. I might be doing it wrong, though. Maybe you can tell me what the problem is, telepathically?
Message sent (gee, hope it works that kinda hurt).
Oh, it worked! You have a future, splitleaf!
(drink two Guiness and "talk" to me later)
If you focus, you can improve your telepathetic skills!
by JumpyPoney a few minutes ago
Super Grand Master vs Cocky 1700 Player
by Lasker1900 4 minutes ago
by kaynight 15 minutes ago
Thoughts on people who illegally download chess books?
by Esteban_Garcia 18 minutes ago
Question on French Tarrasch (3...c5, 4...Qxd5) line with 10...Be7!?
by TwoMove 18 minutes ago
New methods of reducing number of draws in chess (an article)
by timidtim 21 minutes ago
What's wrong with people on chess.com?
by DamoclesLoraine 27 minutes ago
New chess boards
by ShelbyLohrman 30 minutes ago
by TheOrangutanKid 31 minutes ago
Express if you like or do not like the new version of the site
by Smokering26 31 minutes ago
Why Join | Chess Topics |
Help & Support |
© 2016 Chess.com
• Chess - English
Try the new Chess.com!
We are working hard to make Chess.com available in over 70 languages. Check back over the year as we develop the technology to add more, and we will try our best to notify you when your language is ready for translating!