V2: a pictorial ode to obsolescence

All I need now is a sweet little old lady.

Don't look to me for "sweet."  You know somebody looking for "peevish?" Well, I got that covered. ()

Maybe if I at least cleaned the thick carpet of dust off them...

"Sara, would you get me Floyd, down at the Barbershop?"

Howcum he called his maid "ain't bee"?

That's how they're made, so smiling is overrated?

Can't stay "focused" when doing boring chores?  Chronic problems with "concentration?"  Looking for an alternative to pharmaceutical treatment for this painful, crippling condition?  

At last, the solution is Here!  An amazing new invention, now being made available to the public for the first time:  a perfectly designed, easy-to-use, low-cost device that's guanteed to be 100% effective. This is the device the "big drug companies" don't want you to know about!

Order your  Gernsback Isolater Now, for a free trial period, with our money back guarantee:  If 2 weeks of daily use of the Isolater doesn't Change Your Life, simply mail it back to to the Gernsback Institute and receive a Full Refund! (Note: refund amount does not $19.95 for Shipping and Handling. Offer not available in Canada or in most parts of the United States)

Hugo Gernsback, the inventor of the isolator, is considered by some as the father of science fiction 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugo_Gernsback

I can't imagine why the isolator never became popular.

If there's no shock therapy involved I want no part of it.  

I was wondering the same thing, until I saw winerkleiner's response, above.  I'm guessing wk speaks for many potential customers for whom the "shock therapy" feature would have been a basic requirement.

In retrospect, sadly for Gernsback, that's exactly the kind of problem that could have been easily corrected, if only it had been identified by conducting extensive focus group research before launching the product.  Too bad. 

I'm reminded of the scene from Strange Brew, where the McKenzie brothers were taking turns at electroshock: "Ok, my turn. Crank it up to 50,000" or some such.

What happens, then? When you blunder you get an electrical shock?

The tournament hall would be awfully noisy! All that shrieking!!

I hope so, lol.

And who would wipe up the floors?

Lately I've been wondering about life.  "What," I asked myself, "is the real  secret to happiness?"  On a whim, I looked back through all the recent posts in this forum, hoping for enlightenment, knowing that finding an answer here was a long shot at best.  But there it was.  I couldn't believe it.  It had been right in front of me just last week, had I only had eyes to see.

No time to discuss this now -- must get to the store. (Note to self:  Don't ever let self run out of lard.) 

Lol, lard is the new grease of the century!