What's wrong with people on chess.com?

Ive been playing here for a long time and there have always been problems with people cussing you out after a game, laughing when you make a mistake or letting their time run out because they are pissed.

But lately it seems it's gotten out of hand on here. I can't remember the last time somebody said something nice to me on here (during or after a game I play). The only thing I get are people calling me names or laughing when they win.

I'm a person who likes to play games, I like to try different things, sometimes I'm good, others I suck, but I'm here to have fun. I also enjoy talking to people, saying gg or thx, asking about a position or just some personal (light) chatter.

Recently I just get annoyed when I play here, it's starting to take the fun out of it for me and I don't understand why these people do it.

Personally, I think the rules should be a bit stricter. If you can't behave or have some common decency, I don't think you should be allowed to play here anymore. Maybe if the rules got a bit sharper, people would behave a bit more.

I hope this rings a bell for some people, I'm sure there are more like me that come here for fun and hate the crap that goes on more and more regularly.

I'm eager to hear your replies.

I was hoping to hear some different views on this, seems most people don't care too much about it.

Which I guess, is a view on it's own.

I just disable chat.  I'm playing some random internet opponent.  If he or she gives me a good game of chess then that is what matters.  I'm not interested n their personality or engaging in a conversation generally.  I used to often post a 'gg' or something a little more verbose (in a positive way) on someone's notes after I lost a game, but almost never got any kind of response (which is fine, I wasn't looking for a response) or similar so I got out of the habit.

It's the internet though.  Most people who post stuff during a game or after a game are the childish type moaning about no replay or being tee'd off that they lost.  The usual stuff.

That's the world we live in nowadays; specially on internet. The challenge is to not become similarly jerky or cynical, but stay friendly in a stream of angry shouting. Not easy to do. Can't say I got that right every time myself. It's what I strive for anyway.

Lots of good insights and advice in the posts so far.  I want to add one additional point: remember that the obnoxious individuals you encounter make up a tiny fraction of the membership here.  The vast majority are reasonable kind people.  They may be mostly quiet for various reasons, but they don't want to offend anyone.

But because the miscontents are so loud and agressive, they have a disproportionate effect in their pollution of the chats and forums.  Just as the news on television might make one conclude that the world is a lost cause, full of selfishness and cruelty.  The ordinary people who quietly build their lives through hard work and love don't often get mentioned.

Just look at the irritants as a test of your character -- don't even block these people.  Let them vent their desperate attempts at emotional satisfaction.  In time maybe they too will come to their senses.  And if you keep your cool, you will have nothing to regret.

Thank you for this insight. 

I play a lot, and am always baffled often by the less than civil behavior. We are all here to enjoy the game and to learn, and I completely miss the point when an opponent starts in with personal attacks. 

I think your advice is the best. Just let them be. 

Chess.com struggles from the same affliction as any other game you play online, all types of people can play, so all types do play.

I go out of my way to try to be pleasant during and after games. I can't be the only one.

Disabling the chat works, but I'm always interested in what people say. I mean if someone were to cuss me out I think I would end up laughing at them. I mean it's kind of funny when you think about it. 

I've always felt those who anonymously send insults  online are the same people who pre-internet would stand in the street randomly yelling at passing traffic.  

 I never feel or felt inclined to engage much with either except perhaps a degree of pity at what ever miserable life events must have befallen someone to have arrived at such an abject state of self-loathing that they've resorted to the human equivalent of a startled baboon hurling its own shit at a mirror of its own snarling countenance.  

It's always something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-1gtVROY-U

To OP - my experience is different. 

The vast majority of games are silent - but those that involve talk, the friendly outnumber the unfriendly by 8:1 maybe. 

It also helps, that the moment someone acts unfriendly I tend to block them. There will always be bad apples...

Do you keep track of the nationality of the putzes who get a kick out of insulting you?  I'd be curious.  I know insults (vs the practiced slight) have become a major part of the American culture, and not just on the Internet.  Take a look at the current leaders in the campaign for President of the United States, and I'm talking both sides.  Humiliating your opponent is the coin of the realm, and the media plays it up for ratings.

Frankly, I prefer a laissez faire attitude if you're dealing with people who act with personal responsibility and who carry their ethics within themselves, but some have no such internal controls, no sense of civility.  I happen to think it is the way they were raised, but tweeting anything that comes to one's mind hasn't helped any.  I call it Tweets by and for Twits.

I reluctantly agree that the rules should be stricter.  When it comes to those who lack self control, I remember the words of my now deceased cultural anthropology professor: "There is no law without force."  In other words, no enforcement, no law, and I don't think Chess.com cares to play that role except in the most egregious cases.  Making Chess.com a strictly pay-to-play website would ameliorate the problem, but it wouldn't eliminate it. 

Parenthetically, I know if you separated all the wheat from the chafe at the Daily Puzzle, you may have two pages, perhaps three.  As I said, people can't control themselves and are too self-absorbed or lazy to read what others have posted to see if another post adds anything interesting, helpful or clever to the conversation.

To quote Kurt Vonnegut, "So it goes."

I agree with the countermeasure suggested by many here: block the chat.

I don't think the phenomenon has anything to do with nationality or ethnicity or people today versus 50 years ago. I believe there's a little bit of it in in most or us. In the same way that most of us would think we're kind and caring and won't resort to abuse or torture, until the famous prison experiment disproved all that. When you're in a position to abuse your power and inflict pain and harm without retribution (e.g. that experiement, or the anonymous nature of the Internet today), then the ugly part in a person takes over. Of course, many of us won't do it even if circumstances allow, but the sad fact is that given 100 random people among humankind, a lot, if not a majority of people will do it.

That's human nature, I suppose. People are nice, societies are civilized because of civil measures put in place to stop that and punish those who are incalcitrant. But take away those measures and you'll find a brutal, lawless society right away, even if it's still the same set of seemingly civilized people a day before. The tendency to harm and abuse power is simply a trait encoded in human DNA, and until you can genetically breed human to remove that trait (fat chance), the phenomenon you observe will remain.

Just look around the world today. People have always hated wars and wanted wars to end. They even did the "war to end all wars" 100 years ago. Science, culture, technology, literature advance. You'd think people are so civilized now wars will only be a distant memory. But in fact people are still killing each other just as often today as hundreds/thousands years ago. 

Anyway, I digress. You already know what you're supposed to do: accept this reality, turn off chat, and lobby for stricter measures against insults, maybe.

I think that you see a lot more bad behavior and abuse in the lower ratings groups. In the 1450 to 1550 range where I usually fluctuate, it is rare to encounter anyone who wants to waste their time with such nonsense.

all they wanted was a bit of chitty-chat, they may be lonely, blow them some kisses, its the right time of year. muah baby!

I know what you mean...

Maybe chess attracts anti-social types.  I've often felt like there is no such thing as a "friendly" game of chess - the action is pretty cutthroat a lot of the time!

My attitude is that if my opponent is wasting time chatting insults he's more likely to lose since he isn't thinking about the game.  My favorite example of this was a while ago when I was down material and about to lose on time.  My opponent wrote:  "You are weak."  Then he blundered and I mated him in two with one second on the clock!

I usually just laugh at abusive users, sore losers, I figure many are young, and maybe still have hope. And we've all 'raged' before(we have all lost our patience), it is gonna happen, but I never attack anyone 'personally'(sorta my code).