Why Chess.com is not a safe place for women

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Avatar of AnastasiaStyles
Mid-KnightRider wrote:
AnastasiaStyles wrote:
Mid-KnightRider wrote:

Have you ever heard of an armed woman who knows how to do self defense get abused badly?

Yes. Many. Mostly by partners, family, friends that were trusted in error, etc.

That is the reality of abuse and related crimes that cannot be named here, not someone who jumps out of the bushes wearing a ski mask.

I really haven't, could you name a few, sorry.

No, I'm not going to name my friends and acquaintances.

As for you, the truth is that you do know such people, unless you live in an all-male bubble somewhere—they just haven't talked about it to you.

It's a bit like... When it comes to messages I receive from a certain populous, homophobic country (I'll not name it so as to not derail), there are mostly two kinds of people who message me from there: lesbians, and men who "have never met a lesbian". The reality is that if they have met perhaps 10 women in their life, of course they have, based on statistical averages; they just haven't come across as safe people to talk to about that. So they think lesbians are incredibly rare.

Same deal, I suspect, when it comes to you not knowing any fight-capable woman who has been abused as described.

Plus, I think that when I said "mostly it's by partners, family, friends who were trusted in error", you are still imagining it to be sudden PvP deathmatch. Reality is not usually like that.

If I were to describe to you what reality is like, probably my post would be deleted.

And coercive living situations, similarly, can't often be solved with violence unless you want your new coercive living situation to be a jail. And many other scenarios that are far, far more common than what you seem to be imagining.

Avatar of Mid-KnightRider
BigChessplayer665 wrote:
Mid-KnightRider wrote:
SixInchSamurai wrote:

> You are so lost

Yes, I look at the thread's title, then at the last couple of pages, then at the title again and feel really lost

sorry man, we are talking about how women can defend themselves in the realworld, the airbed was a sidejab at @BasixWhiteBoy for trolling women.

Nah you just mentioned second amendment and it got derealed from there

We are talking about how women can be more safe, guns.

Avatar of SixInchSamurai

> we are talking about how women can defend themselves in the realworld

The thread is not about da real world but chess.com only

Avatar of Mid-KnightRider
SixInchSamurai wrote:

> we are talking about how women can defend themselves in the realworld

The thread is not about da real world but chess.com only

Fair enough, no one gets shot online, so it is pretty safe.

Avatar of BigChessplayer665
Mid-KnightRider wrote:
BigChessplayer665 wrote:
Mid-KnightRider wrote:
SixInchSamurai wrote:

> You are so lost

Yes, I look at the thread's title, then at the last couple of pages, then at the title again and feel really lost

sorry man, we are talking about how women can defend themselves in the realworld, the airbed was a sidejab at @BasixWhiteBoy for trolling women.

Nah you just mentioned second amendment and it got derealed from there

We are talking about how women can be more safe, guns.

Guns are the opposite from safe ...

Avatar of Mid-KnightRider
BigChessplayer665 wrote:
Mid-KnightRider wrote:
BigChessplayer665 wrote:
Mid-KnightRider wrote:
SixInchSamurai wrote:

> You are so lost

Yes, I look at the thread's title, then at the last couple of pages, then at the title again and feel really lost

sorry man, we are talking about how women can defend themselves in the realworld, the airbed was a sidejab at @BasixWhiteBoy for trolling women.

Nah you just mentioned second amendment and it got derealed from there

We are talking about how women can be more safe, guns.

Guns are the opposite from safe ...

I could have a gun sitting at my desk for 2 years, and If I don't do anything dumb, nothing happens, criminals with guns are not safe, well intentioned, and experienced civilians are.

Avatar of SixInchSamurai

> Fair enough, no one gets shot online, so it is pretty safe

Deal. For anything else we have da Report button, da Block button and da right attitude

Avatar of Mid-KnightRider
SixInchSamurai wrote:

> Fair enough, no one gets shot online, so it is pretty safe

Deal. For anything else we have da Report button, da Block button and da right attitude

Right lol

Avatar of BigChessplayer665
AnastasiaStyles wrote:
Mid-KnightRider wrote:
AnastasiaStyles wrote:
Mid-KnightRider wrote:

Have you ever heard of an armed woman who knows how to do self defense get abused badly?

Yes. Many. Mostly by partners, family, friends that were trusted in error, etc.

That is the reality of abuse and related crimes that cannot be named here, not someone who jumps out of the bushes wearing a ski mask.

I really haven't, could you name a few, sorry.

No, I'm not going to name my friends and acquaintances.

As for you, the truth is that you do know such people, unless you live in an all-male bubble somewhere—they just haven't talked about it to you.

It's a bit like... When it comes to messages I receive from a certain populous, homophobic country (I'll not name it so as to not derail), there are mostly two kinds of people who message me from there: lesbians, and men who "have never met a lesbian". The reality is that if they have met perhaps 10 women in their life, of course they have, based on statistical averages; they just haven't come across as safe people to talk to about that. So they think lesbians are incredibly rare.

Same deal, I suspect, when it comes to you not knowing any fight-capable woman who has been abused as described.

Plus, I think that when I said "mostly it's by partners, family, friends who were trusted in error", you are still imagining it to be sudden PvP deathmatch. Reality is not usually like that.

If I were to describe to you what reality is like, probably my post would be deleted.

And coercive living situations, similarly, can't often be solved with violence unless you want your new coercive living situation to be a jail. And many other scenarios that are far, far more common than what you seem to be imagining.

It's like how most guys that are bi say they are straight since they can semi pass as one tbh I would like to talk to more people about it but nobody ever tells me anything so I kinda have to listen from other people taking about it 🤷 and a lot of people get scared or it's traumatic which limits the amount of people they talk to

Avatar of NoemiS05

For @AnastasiaStyles and anyone interested in the topic of this thread I highly suggest the new Youtube video by Jacksark called "The Christopher Yoo Situation Keeps Getting Worse". Very crazy stuff.

Avatar of AnastasiaStyles
NoemiS05 wrote:

For @AnastasiaStyles and anyone interested in the topic of this thread I highly suggest the new Youtube video by Jacksark called "The Christopher Yoo Situation Keeps Getting Worse". Very crazy stuff.

Thank you—I just checked it out now, and indeed, a disappointing (but equally sadly, by no means surprising) state of affairs.

Not just that it happens, but also that so little is done about it even when options (such as a meaningful ban from FIDE) are clearly available. Instead, a brief suspension that's basically a normal amount of tournament prep time anyway, and is unlikely to even inconvenience his schedule.

That is no way to express to men that this kind of behaviour is not ok, and nor is it exactly sending a message to women that FIDE cares about it.

Instead, it'll probably be brushed under the carpet and they'll go back to brainstorming "what can we do to get more women in chess?" and decide that what's needed is comfier chairs, or participation trophies, or anything except actually fixing this nigh-ubiquitous problem 😐

Avatar of Bogidanov

повторю: потому что нельзя быть на свете красивой такой ..

Avatar of Bogidanov

"Белый Орел""Потому что нельзя быть красивой такой"

Avatar of Bogidanov

Отлетела листва, у природы - свое обновленье
И туманы ночами стоят и стоят над рекой.
Твои волосы, руки, и плечи твои - преступленья,
Потому что нельзя быть на свете красивой такой.
Припев:
Потому что нельзя
Потому что нельзя
Потому что нельзя
Быть на свете красивой такой.
Потому что нельзя
Потому что нельзя
Потому что нельзя
Быть на свете красивой такой.
Эти желтые листья в ладони свои собираешь -
Отсверкали они и лежат на холодном лугу.
И ты сердцем моим, словно листьями теми играешь,
И бросаешь в костер, не сжигай только нашу мечту.
Я боюсь твоих губ, для меня это - просто погибель.
В свете лампы ночной твои волосы сводят с ума.
И все это хочу навсегда, навсегда я покинуть,
Только как это сделать - ведь жить не могу без тебя.

Avatar of Abtectous
Guys, this thread is just AI generated spam.
Avatar of SixInchSamurai

>Guys, this thread is just AI generated spam

Did not even watch da video, just wrote some thoughts about da thread's title

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