Considering Giving Up On Chess

Simply Asking " Will I progress if I can't visualize" is too generic.

I am no expert but for people to help you, you at least need to post the link of your games, explain where went wrong and how it can relate to your "inability to visualize"( from what you say).

 

I'm 69 and have been playing since age 14. If you ask me the color of f6, I can get it in a few seconds, but not instantly. I can't play more than a few moves blindfolded--and that only in an opening I already know well. Throw me a d6 followed by a c5, and I'm already lost. So just play chess and have fun. There are dozens of ways to enjoy it, too, without playing. Read about the great players. Study famous games. Watch instructive videos. Chess is a lifelong hobby, and it would be a shame for you (or anyone) to give up on it because you have a few blind spots.

I have a personality disorder too. I am never going to play well. But that does not matter. I just do it for fun. You will find duffers around the world hacking golf balls with no pretence of trying to reach championship level. Only a very small percentage of players in any sport reach the top. If you lose, that's not a problrm. Even the world champion loses sometimes. Keep playing as long as you enjoy it.

Having depression isn't uncommon amongst chess players. You shouldn't think this will hold you back... you are only 11. But try to be healthy, get sunlight and eat right and don't beat yourself up. Try to enjoy the game. You are still extremely young and you will regret giving up later on. Don't rush improvement! Just get comfy and learn something small and enjoy the ride.

It's not the depression that's holding me back, it's my inability to visualize. The depression caused me to lose my mind's eye, but it's not directly holding me back.

Hang in there!  I have clinical depression and chess has helped a lot....  I can't visualize past two moves but I stink!  The point is life is short.  If it's fun for you play chess.  If it's not, try something new!

 

PS  For me meds have changed my whole life.  Abilify and Effexor!

who? Me?

Enjoyment is far more important than being good at something. I was a very good writer, and I enjoyed the idea of being a writer, but I didn't enjoy the process of writing. So I gave it up and did other things. However, if your goal is to become better at chess and maybe compete in tournaments (but not become world champion), then memorization, tactics and analysis will more than compensate for an inability to visualize. 

Depression is not who you are, it happens because of your experiences in life. Doing the things you love will give your mind something to focus on and help you to forget about the bad things for a little while. But sometimes you have to think about the bad things. When that happens, think about what you need to do for yourself to feel better. If you are sad because of grief, remember that the people we've lost would not want us to spend months and years grieving for them, they would want us to live our lives and find what makes us happy. Even today, right now, they would want that. If you are sad because something bad happened to you, find other people who have experienced the same things. Maybe by talking to each other, you can help them and they can help you. If you don't know why you are depressed, then make a long list of things you have done in your life that bring you happiness. Focus on doing those things as often as you can.

Those two drugs have helped dramatically in my change from suicidal to pretty normal.

Assuming this isn't a troll post, the real topic here should be why your parents decided that you should know about clinical depression and aphantasia in the first place at the age of 11.  Try to forget about it and just live your life.  Plenty of time to learn your family's medical history and how it affects you when you actually can do something about it and need to know more.

Ummm, no.  This advice is not really helpful.  It makes the assumption that depression is under the control of the person that has it and that they can just summarily decide to be happy by doing things differently and choosing to be.  That's only part of the story.  That's why it's called "clinical depression".  If it was just a decision that was involved in removing chemical imbalances, etc. then nobody would have depression long term .  So giving this advice is harmful, because if someone believes you and tries to "be happy" and cannot be without medication, then they are worse off.  Leave the advice to the professionals.

The brain is a biological computer which can be reprogrammed. In order to do so, it's synaptic associations must be reconfigured. The simplest way to do this is to introduce new input over time. The memory triggers which recall trauma must be reassigned to positive memories and ideas. This is a time consuming process, it doesn't happen overnight. But it is simple enough to understand. For example, if a certain aroma triggers a bad memory from childhood, then a person could deliberately expose themself to that aroma while doing something relaxing, calming or enjoyable. Given enough time, exposure to that aroma would be more likely to result in remembering a happy activity rather than a bad memory. If you don't take assertive measures to rewire your brain, then you are at its mercy.

Never give up

Well first off I agree shouldn't be telling 8 years olds the family medical history. But the caveat is that Aphantasia and (from what it sounds like) serious clinical depression it would be extremely hard to ignore as it's extremely hard to process emotions such as those at eight. Also its kind of hard to keep hiding something's name that is the reason they can't find joy and why they have to take medication.

Chess is a game created so players can have fun.
Not everyone will make it to NBA, but people, young and old still play basketball.
Not everyone will make it to NFL, yet people still play football.
Not everyone will become titled player, NM, FM, IM, GM, yet they still
play chess.
People are just gifted with their own individual talents. Like michael Jordan cannot play chess, Magnus cannot play golf, Tiger Woods cannot play basketball, etc...

It’s nothing more than a game. Have fun and don’t let anyone take that fun away from you. As for those who think they are better player than you, there are thousands others who are better player than them.

Relax and enjoy the game.

Except that people people with clinical depression can't necessarily change their own "inputs" through willing it to happen.  As a retired software developer, I have to say I would not use the "computer being reprogrammed" analogy.  It's not that applicable.  Much like an evangelist that tells a wheelchair bound person to get up and walk, it's not always helpful to tell people they can just do something if they set their mind to it.  It's not always the truth, unless you are watching a movie/TV series, in which case it always works .

If someone wants to try to remove trauma triggers through EMDR therapy or something like that, great.  It's not something that the average person can just decide to do for themselves, by themselves, just by thinking happy thoughts.  Unlike software, you can't simply erase the "bad code".  The trauma is not gone, just redirected, and that redirection has its own consequences.  You can't remove *all* the triggers, so like a house with leaky plumbing, if you plug one leak you may start a new one elsewhere that is worse.

Maybe depression is hard for me to understand because I'm not like other people, I don't have many feelings. So it is hard for me to understand why people do not take assertive actions and attack their problems head on. Nothing else is logical. 

I don't know anything about clinical depression but I do believe a boy your age would be better off playing an active sport rather than chess. Maybe you are depressed because you are sitting around and studying chess positioos. I know a little bit about natural remedies and I know that vitamins c and b are good for depression so maybe you could try taking those vitamins and multis as well and combine this with outdoor sports activities and getting some sun and fresh air and you might be doing better. Can you get marijuana legally in your area? I've heard this is also a good remedy for depression.

You're right, it's not logical.  But much like a teenager with a crush on somebody will do certain things that are not logical, depressed people do things that are not logical, because their brain is altering their mood/outlook.