Give it time. Some language might help. If you are try out moves in your head and trying to imagine what will happen, this is called Calculation (the moves) and Visualisation (imagining how the board will look after the move). If you are looking at different options, these are called Candidate Moves. So it sounds like you are calculating and visualising a few candidate moves, then evaluating and comparing the positions that result from these, but struggle to hold those positions in your head. Firstly your approach is correct and is the method used by strong players. It is also a skill that strengthens with practice so keep doing it and give it time. It works best when the moves are forcing, so if you capture a piece your opponent may have to capture back, that's an easy calculate, their response is forced otherwise there will have a material disadvantage. It is harder when the is no forcing reply, a quiet move. You could try only comparing two options at a time, work with pairs, so if you have options x, y, z calculate, evaluate and compare x and y, if you reject y, calculate z and compare with x then pick your preference and play the move. You wont always get it right but you will get better at it.
Do I have the wrong approach at learning?
Well if you don't play humans you will not be better at playing humans.
Making elaborate plans is tough, and even 2 000 rated players don't really create 4+ move plans unless the line is forcing in a way they can calculate the exact responses from the opponent. As for plans you are trying to work out during games... try to not to make mistakes that hangs pieces at first, and make simpler plans. What do I mean simpler plans? For instance you make a 2 move plan in which your first move threatens something, opponent has to react in a way that you can predict (you have to see what his options are and have the answer to his second move) and you find a good second move that will give you some sort of advantage. Perhaps you will make one of his pieces less active and then grab space with a certain pawn move that has some other threat as well.
Don't make multi move plans which they can deflect easily with an obvious move. Don't hope that the opponent will make a mistake, check if he has threats of his own you have to address, and then try to find some forcing move that will improve your position. But always put yourself in their shoes. For instance if they play your move, try to find the best response and see if that move is worth playing. For instance giving a check might seem tempting but if you do not have a follow up move, don't give check just to give a check.
In any case, look for checks, captures and attacks (these are called forcing moves) and see if some of those potential moves are good by checking their options as well.
Quiet moves are the ones that really disrupt my thought process because, as nklristic pointed out, elaborate plans are easily stopped unless the expected responses are exact.
As far as playing humans - well, it’s probably not unusual for newer players to feel a bit self-conscious about in-game decisions. At the moment it’s just easier to play a familiar face instead of having one more thing to consider - but I hear you.
In any case, thanks for the motivation and I’m very grateful for your thorough replies. I'll make an effort to only concentrate on simpler yet forcing moves to improve position and keep the calculation to a minimum. I'll tell you right now though, it's gonna be a long game.
1) Assess the position. Decide which player has which advantages or disadvantages.
2) From this info, put together a rough plan (or at least, a general intention).
3) From that, select a few "candidate moves" to examine. Typically two to five different moves.
4) Analyze each of them out to a "quiescent" position, where the cut-and-thrust stops.
5) Compare the results of each of your candidate moves, and choose the best one.
Calculation is fine, you should calculate and the better you get at it, better your game will be, but it is simply the thing that the more moves your plan takes to calculate the more unknown factors can kick in. And on that level, it is extremely tough to calculate that many things. That is why in classical over the board chess tournaments sometimes it take 1 hour for a strong player to make a move.
So if you can keep it simple, all the better. 
Especially until you get better at calculation. It is the same on intermediate level, longer plans are rare among my peers (unless you calculate a forced mate or gain of material that can't be avoided).
Just go trough basic opening principles, play against real people becouse on chess.com there are opponents for every level of play. Believe in your self and dont get distracted with things that are above you right now.
Best regards
@blueemu has a good summary (always a sane voice). Step 4) is a good point. Once you've calculated to a quiet move with no clear for ing reply, stop and evaluate. This often means calculation might be only 1 or 2 moves. It also depends on tactical and positional knowledge - with more experience you will be able to see continuation that provide an advantage that might look quiet to a less experienced player. Often I will play a simple, quiet, developing move when I calculate that a forced continuation may lead to exchanges of equal material but no clear advantage for myself. I learning not to throw away material without a tangible gain, however small 😁. Again, these assessments are only as good as your knowledge which will strengthen with study and experience.
A final comment from me. Expect calculation errors. Moves your opponent makes that you failed to account for. Often in between moves. It's normal and a fair few will lose you games. You can only do your best and practise.
I realise that this has been answered quite well already, but I'll post anyway.
I see three major problems with your approach. You seemed aware of two of them when you made this thread, and appear to be aware of the third now. All the same, I see no harm in reiterating them.
- Memorisation: You're memorising the wrong things, as you know. Don't memorise specific lines. Learn the opening principles instead. Learn basic tactical patterns instead. Notice how I changed the word from memorise to learn. I feel like it's a more accurate term for these areas that should be focusing on. Memorisation will not help you to grow as a player very much. It's also boring, to be honest...
- Humans: You should play humans, as you seem to know. You can and will improve without it, but it's absolutely not the best method to avoid humans. I completely understand your reasoning behind not wanting to. I'm actually doing a very similar thing right now. My chess is rusty right now, so I'm only playing "daily" games. It's not so I can spend longer on my moves. I move fast. It's purely related to openings. Openings which I just can't remember well enough. I can use a database in daily games if I so wish, and in some games I am doing. It's silly and soon I'll get back to playing "live" games again. The sooner you take your plunge, the better.
- Calculation: If you get lost when you try to look ahead, then don't look so far ahead next time. As a general rule of thumb when trying to improve in most disciplines in life, if you can do something but it's challenging, you're in the right ball park. If it's too hard and you can't do it, you're not helping yourself much trying to. If it's too easy, then doing it also isn't benefitting you much. I rarely calculate much in chess. In most positions, there isn't anything that needs calculating. At a beginner level, you almost never need to calculate. Keep your pieces active and safe. Take your opponent's pieces when they're not safe. That's most of what is required of you.
Hope I wasn't just repeating other people too much.
Playing against the computer and trying to analyze your games leads nowhere unless you have some basic foundations, which you seem to lack.
What I recommend is the lessons on this site, starting with the "New to Chess" series.
https://www.chess.com/lessons/playing-the-game
Hi! My name is Lauren Goodkind and I’m a chess coach based and chess book author based in California:
First of all, I hope you can find a winning method that works for you.
I have ideas to help you improve your chess skills so you can win more games.
I recommend playing with a slow time control, such as game in 30 minutes. You need time to think. Beginners tend to make a lot of silly moves with very little time. This makes sense since there’s a lot of pieces on the board.
I also offer a free beginner’s free eBook on my website, www.ChessByLauren.com in case you are interested. The book is about asking questions before each move.
Before each move, I highly encourage you ask questions before every move such as, “If I move here, is it safe?”, “Can I safely capture a piece?”, and more.
If you are past this stage, then you want to find a winning forcing line, so you can get in a winning position. Yes, FIND A FORCING/winning line. Think several moves ahead.
Also consider all checks and captures on your side and also your opponent’s side.
Learn basic tactics such as the fork, discovered attack, pin, and more. I offer interactive puzzles on my website: https://www.chessbylauren.com/two-choice-puzzles.php
If you are serious about chess, I highly recommend you hiring a chess coach to help you.
I hope that this helps.
Wow.. having a difficult time finding the right words to express the amount of gratitude I have. It was really surprising to see so many thought-out and detailed replies which all catered to a very general topic - that's probably recirculated daily.
In most of the suggestions I’ve read, there’s a continued and reoccurring endorsement of certain elements that everyone seems to acknowledge: focusing on principles, reducing assessments, and being open to making mistakes. Since most of my games are currently played against the CPU, I should probably start with the latter.
This is more guidance and encouragement than I ever expected - more than enough to remain inspired and optimistic. Thank you all, and take care.
I have a difficult time at memorization.
It’s been recommended not to try and memorize lines but that’s not my goal. At this point, I only play the CPU, and even though that’s also advised against, it at least helps try and get some kind of method going.
Anyway, while playing the CPU I often stop to analyze - trying out different scenarios as to what will happen. More often than not things go too far in and I forget how it ended up where it’s at.
It seems like the wrong approach - and whatever intentions I have aren’t really making up for the confusion that follows. Right now, even with some lessons and puzzles, I don’t feel like it’s really leading anywhere because it’s difficult to apply anything. There’ll be so much playing - sticking to basics like defending, watching videos on openings, analysis.. then I play my friend who does none of that and get run over.
* Have a couple of links open from other posts [Beginner’s Tale & Surviving the Opening] but wanted to ask around and see what others had to say.