Everyone appears to be an arrogant @**#ole.

Seriously; anytime anyone chats at all it is to tell me how much better and faster I could have won or how dumb I am for losing. Is this all the chess community is? Because I don't need this. Great game--terrible people has been my only impression thus far. 

Yeah, there are jerks.

You can modify your chat / message settings here to only allow friends (or no one) to chat / message you.

https://www.chess.com/settings/live

Thanks; I really do appreciate knowing that, but why would I want to keep playing if basically the game means you should ignore everyone or deal with this crap?

Yeah man, sorry your experience has been so bad.

Some days you run into a lot of jerks, some days none at all. Maybe it's because of the holidays stressing people out, or you were playing kids. It's hard to know.

Either way, thanks for replying. It helps to know it's not just that everyone that likes to play is an arrogant Pr!(k. 

No problem

I never have chat on in games. It's 90% people who want to annoy you to try to influence your play. Otherwise people making excuses when they hang things... Either way, it's off. If you go to turn it on to say GG after, the opponent will usually have left immediately anyway. 

So, I mean, is it chess or just being online that's the thing. Because I started during the pandemic, and if it's the internet, yeah, okay, I get it. But if it's the game/community.... 

It is a problem with humanity as a whole. People are scum. Except me, of course.

not meant to be taken entirely seriously

Hope this doesn't come across as too annoying but...

I think most of the toxic people are very low rated (around beginners), or very high rated (grandmasters). Chess is a pretty humbling game for those of us who stick with it. You work and improve over years only to realize you're still pretty bad, and so it's not so hard to show some respect to others who are in your position. People like me play because we love the game, not because we're great at it or have big egos.

Also, if I had to guess, the two age groups most represented are kids (let's say age 10 to 20) and senior citizens (age 60+) but by far the biggest group is kids. So for that reason there is a lot of immaturity (no different from other online games).

But yeah, I could probably play 1000 games before 1 of my opponents says anything in chat. I assume that most people in my position have played many thousands of games, and we're solely focused on the game. We don't care about the other person at all. That means no socializing, or arguing, or worrying about rematches or anything else you sometimes see people complaining about in the forums. We just play a game and move on to the next. The more you improve the more your experience will be like this...

... unless you improve to the point of GM level, and deal with the children and egos that exist there (yes some children are GM level).

That's my take on it, FWIW.

just keep in mind... Arrogance knows. Humility learns.

If they're also rated 600, they have no room to talk haha.

If you get sick of this, you can always mute the chat. 

That is very rude. I agree with @llama47 about there being a lot of kids here and also the point about being focused on the game rather than the person. I have chat on but no one has ever chatted me but I've only played a few games. 

Its the internet.  Some people just get off on being able to remain anonymous and harass people.  Just understand that its more a statement on the quality of their lives than you.  Or equate it to the gang mentality.  Sure...anyone will seem tough when they are with a bunch of other people.  And!  to take it a step further.  The people that act like jerks online would not act that way in person. 

You can rest assured that there are nice people among chess players and the community is not as rotten as some suggest. Unfortunately toxic people tend to have louder voices.

Chess has its share of jerks just like every other community, but its also filled with helpful and respectful people. I keep chat off in games because that's how it would be over the board. The forums can also be a gamble when posting as well, but that's the unfortunate nature of the internet. I hope you stick with it and don't judge us all by a few jerks.

Agreed, there are more nicer people than bad ones here, hope you carry on playing because you enjoy a game of chess and not get put off with your experiences so far. 

Also you can report players if they do cross the line and become to much. 

Good luck and merry Christmas everyone. 

It's the internet

As you climb up people get more respect for the skills of the opponent, in my experience. Just laugh away any trash talk 😆

I know this will sound stupid, but some of my favorite moments on chess.com have been from the chat. Just friendly people engaging in fun banter about a position, making jokes, talking about their country.

With that being said, when I was lower rated I did find more toxicity. As someone said above here, at the higher ratings there's a sort of mutual respect for each other that I wish all levels of the game had.