it's been a rollercoaster. I've complained a ton, blundered more queens and rooks than I can count. Almost quit like 4 times. Watched hundreds of ChessBrah and Gotham chess vids combined. downloaded books that I can't understand. ranted complained to my friends about my many losses. Threw my phone across the couch a few times. Had my wife scoff at me when I slap my leg and say "wtf". but finally I'm at 1000 rating which for me is a small milestone.
now I'm deathly afraid to play Rapid.
that is all.
Told you you'd get back buddy. Don't let your fear paralyze you though. It's not about winning right now, it's about learning. Winning is a bonus, learning is the goal. Just keep your goals in mind and get back to the grind when you feel ready.