How do you deal with being a beginner (the emotional side)

Ok, so this is an open ended question, and is certainly not just about chess, although this is a chess forum on a chess site. I began to think deeply about the topic a few days ago and I found myself thinking of chess as yet another game I will forever feel a beginner at.

Now, my reasons to have chess as a hobby (if you had to have reasons for any hobby besides liking it) are summarized by some sense of aesthetic pleasure from seeing a game, analyzing (not that deeply) a position, or knowing trivia facts about the chess universe. I don't know which are your reasons, but some of the above may apply.

Now, my personality is the type that doesn't bode well with being a beginner at something I like. I consider any beginner level a level full of cringe, corruption and general lack of aesthetic value for any activity. Probably that's why I take my account here as a "joke" account. Yet, even when I do, I still dislike being a beginner. It robs me of the pleasure of playing the game well... It's cumbersome and demoralizing. I always find myself wishing I had enough natural talent to bypass the beginner stages altogether. That's my main wish whenever I become interested in any activity, specially one that requires some specialized skills: to discover I'm naturally talented at it and need not be a true beginner. Alas, it hasn't been the case with chess... very sadly so.

Fortunately, chess can be a spectator sport of sorts, so I have that going for me. Otherwise, I would've quit the chess universe a long time ago. So, my question is... how do you deal with being a beginner? Do you ever feel that it's incredibly annoying and depressing?. I don't mean just because of the obvious frustration of losing, but overall. I honestly think that if I took chess seriously I would start to actively dislike it, but fortunately i'm not going down that route.

I think that you have to detach your ego from your results and accept being bad at something for long enough that you can become good at it. Children seem to be better at this than adults, who often have issues with looking foolish. What the adults fail to realize is: no one cares; other people are too busy worrying about themselves.

I think that this is easier once you've gone through the process of mastering something a few times and understand that this beginner stage is most likely temporary and that there's a lot of value in getting the fundamentals of whatever you're learning down cold. Viewing these fundamentals as "simple stuff for beginners that's beneath me" is a mistake.

If you do need to attach your ego to something, I'd suggest attaching it to successfully carrying out the process of working on improvement each day, independent of results. That is, focus on getting in your reps each day ("I did my x pages of reading, y puzzles, z games for today, and analyzed my games" ) and let the results follow. The book Atomic Habits by James Clear explores this process-oriented point of view in more detail.

I was very frustrated being a beginner, i feel you man. But exactly this frustration helped me to give my best and get way better.

You should be curious and must have learning appetite. Enjoying learning process is very important.

My outlook is similar to @DarkKnightAttack. I'm curious, enjoy trying ideas on the chess board and the learning process. It's nice to win of course, but I dont mind losing or being a beginner, as long as I feel I'm improving over the months (not weeks, I feel some beginners have unrealistic time expectations). You mentioned reasons why you dont like being a beginner but perhaps you've brushed over some hard truths. Maybe some deeper soul searching is required. Good luck.

First I bought some books on opening and endgame and tactics.

And a great one from beginners to 1500 elo from two russian chess coach a GM and an IM.

I did read quite a bit to understand what to do...

After a few months of pain by playing daily I  was around 1300 and I did quit for a while.

Play slower game like 15+10....and think carefully on each move!

Around 1400 Elo you will start to feel a huge improvement.

It is the pain that brings the results! The way I look at it at around 1700 on here is that I should really crush 1000 level players (1700-1000=700) as many of their moves are blunders or just non-sensical. Then I think that the difference between me (whose not really that good but has spent a lot of time on the game and considers it a fun hobby) and someone 1000 is much less than the difference between myself and a top GM (3000-1700=1300). Even 2000s will wipe the board with me 99.9% of the time. So it is really a matter of perspective since at whatever stage you are at as an amateur, there is a whole host of people are could spot you queen odds and still win. My advice would be to not dwell on it and stay in the moment. If you focus on the big differences between yourself and a strong player, you'll never get there, but if you go step by step with small progress, you will improve

I was always self-confident, and well it seems like yesterday I was  700, and not long ago I reached 1700, I dropped down but I am still confident, of setting a goal of 1800. Now if you are really that unhappy that you are a beginner, put more time into learning and practicing, get a membership inmprove!

You don't have to be Bobby Fischer to enjoy chess.

Do you have to be David Bowie to enjoy music?

It's an interesting topic... like you said, for any skill not just chess.

There have been a few things in my life I wanted to try, for example art and music. So I do a few beginner lessons, and practice a bit, and do a lot of reading / watching online to see what the next steps are, and what it takes to actually "be good" ... and after understanding the basic study / practice plan, and which skills they target, and how much time it will take... I lose interest  So them I'm "stuck" as forever a beginner.

So in that way I can relate to what you're saying... but I can't really relate to the feelings of "cringe" and (for lack of a better word) self loathing for being a beginner. I mean, this is what it comes down to right:  you want to be good, but you're not willing to put in the work. Like I said, I can relate. So just forgive yourself, accept yourself as the beginner you are

But if you really are upset, then that's a very good fuel for improvement. Do some research for what an actual chess study and play regimen looks like (hint, it's not memorizing openings and watching youtube videos). Because when you do that, you're guaranteed to see your work pay off. And yes it takes a long time and a lot of effort, but you'll start seeing small improvements right away, and after e.g. a year you'll be tremendously better than you are today (if you follow a reasonable program).

If you dont like being a beginner, PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE

The only reason people are good at what they do, is because they

PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE

Magnus Carlesen is only great at chess because he PRACTICES PRACTICES PRACTICES

I am only good at piano because I - you guessed it - PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE

Out of the people who have replied to this thread, I think you are the one who's closest to understanding what I try to convey by my original post. Not that the other replies are off topic or anything, but they don't seem to grasp the concept of beginner frustration.

While this is a chess forum, I'll reach for another activity that you hinted at. Let's take music and specifically, how to play an instrument. Now, the traditional "formal" way of learning how to play is to learn the rudiments of music notation and basic rhythms, as well as scales and other technical aspects of the instrument. Then you play basic stuff (a very short stanza or kiddie song) and then you progress to more complex pieces. Now... how do you stay motivated while your fingers/mouth are typically very clumsy and you don't hit the notes? How do you stay motivated to learn music notation when it just looks like hieroglyphs? The most obvious replies are 2: you power through the inevitable discomfort (either you're emotionally built for it or you have no other choice and suffer greatly through it) or you discover you're talented enough that you notice very quickly that you are good enough to be able to read music and play basics without much hassle and effort.

If you're of the latter type, you will derive a lot more joy and you'll get your enthusiasm fed by a positive feedback loop (you're naturally good, hence learning and practicing is not likely to be dreaded). If you're lucky this way, you don't truly qualify as a beginner, imho. Now, if you are unfortunately, a true beginner at music playing and do not possess the natural talent required to bypass the awkward first stages, then you will have to grind from the very start and the amount of joy and positive feedback will not be as large. How would you stay motivated? You will have to live with yourself being a clumsy beginner than can't breathe properly into your instrument or can't make your fingers produce 3 chords in flawless fashion. Can you deal with it? Some people don't mind that state. I do. I truly dislike not being able to produce good music from the get go, however basic said music may be. I don't care if it's happy bday, i want to be able to pick the instrument and "instantly" know how to produce decent sounds with it. How is that possible? Well, if you play a similar instrument you may be able to pick stuff really quickly. Something similar may happen if your knowledge of music and your ear is trained enough that you can figure out stuff by yourself on the fly. Either way, that's how you bypass true beginner stages.

Now, back to chess... The reason why I mention cringe being a part of beginner chess is simple. When you see the games you play, they are full of blunders, erratic moves and general lack of technique. It's depressing to go over them. It's depressing to see that you can't even produce happy bday on a consistent basis. Chess at a true beginner stage is not beautiful, it looks and feels awful. If you have any sense of appreciation for a well played game, you're unlikely to feel any of that for a beginner game. The way to produce a good game is to study and practice, you say? Sure, but before you start producing good happy bdays you will produce a lot of mangled chords. You will continue to produce ugly games for a long long period of time. No positive feedback loop, just drudgery. It's hard to stay motivated under those circumstances.

My entire point with this thread is to discuss how to keep your motivation when you produce ugly games. You can just shrug your shoulders and say "Just keep on doing it. Practice. Put in the required effort" That's all fine and I'm not saying I wouldn't. But I need more than that. I need positive feedback and lots of big successes on a repeated basis if I'm going to tolerate producing disgusting beginner games for months on end. And I doubt that's possible, so I'm guessing I'll be a beginner forever...

Ok, now I understand better.

Yeah, I totally get it. Like you hear some beautiful piece of music, and you connect with it on some deep level, and you really appreciate and admire the composer / conductor / players. And you're inspired to try to create something too.

The same with art... and to make it even worse, you watch professionals (who have of course put in many thousands of hours on top of being very talented) and even the very basic things they do sound / look good. It's so effortless.

And then you look at what you can do... even with a lot of effort it's crap... and it's discouraging.

So yeah, I get it. I think that's one of the big benefits of starting as a kid. First of all kids are too dumb to know how embarrassingly awful they are lol  -- but also the expectations are lower. If a kid scribbles with a crayon a few circles and says they drew you, you tell them they did a good job and you put it on the fridge. They're happy, and they scribble some more... and now they're getting a little better.

That sort of thing.

But as an adult you see it's scribbles. You see it's awful, and you want to quit.

---

So yeah, somehow you have to lower your standards and enjoy the small stuff. Would you tell a 7 year old they are awful for playing many wrong notes or drawing something you can't even tell if you're holding it upside down? Of course not. So let yourself be a beginner as if you were a kid, and celebrate the small stuff, knowing that some day, years from now, it will be beautiful.

I guess that would be my advice.

Or, as you have done, which is a fine solution too... don't play chess anymore, or at least don't try to improve. Be a "spectator" (as you said) and admire it from afar. I certainly do that with art and music.

It's not that ugly if you are prepare before you play even one game.

Learn at least one opening with white like the London System and one with black like the Caro Kann..2 opening that are very easy to learn.

Play some tactical puzzles even if it's only for 10 hours.

Learn some basic endgame even if it's only for 5 hours.

It should not take you one year and 1500 games to get to at least 1300 here.

If it's too hard go play on another site it's a lot easier.

Play Slower game and THINK! on every move!

In less then 6 months if you play daily you should be a lot better then your 848 at blitz! after 4538 games.

This is a story I've told a few times by now.

When I was a beginner I lost a game like this.

That was frustrating, so I reviewed what went wrong and kept on playing.

A few days later, I lost again in the exact same way.

I reviewed it again, telling myself that f6 was not a good move.

A few days later, I lost again in the exact same way.

So now it's 3 times.

But... then a few days later, I got this position

And I knew not to play f6... and I knew exactly why f6 wouldn't work.

And I was able to enjoy that process. I enjoyed it because I had improved... and of course within a month or so, I had won a game against an opponent where I was white and I punished them for playing f6, which was also a lot of fun for me.

So for whatever reason, even though I started chess at a later age (18) I was able to enjoy the small stuff, and so I improved.

What happens if you don't or can't enjoy that? I guess you won't improve, because you wont be able to tolerate losing in under 10 moves in the the same way over and over before you finally learn your lesson

But maybe my story will help you forgive yourself a little... because I've even heard GMs say in lectures that as a kid they often had to make the same mistake multiple times before they learned from it enough that they didn't do it again.

Ok. I had a quick look at your stats on here. You joined in December. You've played 350 games of daily and currently have about 20 games on the go ( can you remember your plans for each one?) . You've played 4000 blitz, the last few were 3/2. You have done no puzzles. If you want to be a great chess player you are setting yourself up for a failure. Stop complaining and grow up. Sorry if this sounds harsh but do you want to improve or not? You need quality not quantity. Sorry to sound like a stuck record but player longer games, do puzzles, play through GM games and follow all the other great improvement advice you will find on this forum. If you start tomorrow and can follow a daily study regimen then I guarantee that in 12 months you will be an intermediate player rated 1400+ and your pain will be over.

Also, I guess to be more specific, my goal wasn't something like "I want to gain 100 rating points" it was things like "I keep forgetting the bishop hiding on g2 can take my rook" or "every time I try to see 3 moves ahead I get confused and have to re-calculate"

So then I was working on something concrete like that... and when I could manage to visualize 3 moves ahead, I was happy with myself. Any time I did notice the sneaky bishop on the long diagonal I was happy with myself.

Now, in the end, I did want to get to 1300... my original long term goal was that I'd get to 1300 and then quit chess forever

But day to day I was looking for little things I could improve and enjoying that.

As I said in my original post... My intention with the thread was to discuss the beginner mentality that I (and I think many others) possess. It's probably a "destructive" one, but one of the things that it has done for me is to allow me to focus on stuff that I'm naturally good at. And generally speaking, it's so much easier to put in the effort when you're not a true beginner. Not to mention how much more satisfying it is...

As for the advice, I don't think I can derive anything from it now. Not because the advice is wrong or deficient. It's simply that I need something else I will not get, unless something very special happens: suddenly developing talent and/or suddenly possessing above average skills without effort and without producing garbage. That's very unlikely to happen.

So, I shall continue the way it is, right now... playing everything like it was bullet in my account, not playing seriously. The point of that is to always have the "excuse" that i wasn't playing seriously, instead of actually making an effort and confirming that I still play badly. Because when you play seriously and still produce the natural garbage of a beginner, it's not pretty. It's ugly and unsatisfactory and I don't want any of that in my life. Now... were I to discover a sure way to instantly play decent chess, I would start taking it seriously.

We all  did that same mistake many times!

But we did learn from our mistakes.....

But some peoples never Think when they play because they only play super fast games and they never analyse their games.....

And some peoples do not want to change their bad habits but they expect the reality to change by magic!

I think analyzing your games is overrated at the true beginner level. The only way you avoid obvious blundering is by developing chess intuition and developing a system that has blunder checking at its core. And that's independent of game reviewing (although systematic game reviewing can help address certain patterns). Alternatively, there are ways out of certain common blunders, among which i recommend not allowing positions or moves you have consistent trouble with. For instance, when I try to be serious about a game, I tend to avoid open positions because I blunder a lot in them. Also, I try my best to exchange pieces (even when I could think of a mating net) because I know that if I have to deal with counterplay, i'll likely blunder. Granted, that's not the optimal way to go about "learning", but i'd rather develop bad habits than lose all my games... YMMV: