Secrets of a ( Junior ) Grand Master

Secrets of a ( Junior ) Grand Master

by Andrew Roller 

His name was Joe Muffler.  He’d once been a chess newbie like us.  Now, he was our executioner.  Every day, we boys lined up to challenge Joe Muffler to a game of chess.  In just a few moves, he’d beat each one of us.  Waiting to play Joe was like waiting to be guillotined.

That was in 1972.  I soon gave up chess.  I preferred the easier task, while others played chess, of convincing a devout church-goer that his belief in creationism was wrong.

It’s now 2022.  I’ve returned to playing chess.  So far, I just play against the computer at chess ( dot ) com.  But, I’m improving.  I’m doing well enough, against various computer opponents, to regard myself as a ( Junior ) Grand Master.  I’m proud to say that I can ( sometimes ) beat any computer opponent who’s ranked at 1000 or lower.

When I first returned to chess, I was awful.  If you’re a new or returning chess player, you’ll likely be awful too.  But only at first.  Here are some tips for how to win against the computer at chess ( dot ) com:

1.  Watch your opponent’s diagonal files.  That is, keep an eye on your opponents bishops, and his queen.  

It’s easy to spot an open vertical file, or an open horizontal file.  ( A rook moves in these directions. )  It’s also fairly easy to spot how a knight might move.  ( “One, two, over” is how I count out the three squares that a knight can move through. )  

( Always think of the knight as jumping to each of these squares.  That’s because, unlike other pieces, he can jump! )

2.  A king can’t castle when he’s in check.  Also, he can’t castle if he must move through squares in which he’d be in check.

3.  Familiarize yourself with the “En Passant” move.  It’s not so mysterious, once you understand it.  Remember:  your opponent’s pawn must have moved TWO squares, from his starting position.

4.  At chess ( dot ) com, a computer opponent who’s ranked at 1000 or less fails to protect his queen.  Always go for your opponent’s queen.  You’ll see the opportunity.  Then you’ll say, to yourself, “Never mind.  If I try that, my opponent will simply move his queen out of the way.”  

Except:  that’s not what happens!  Once you’ve captured your opponent’s queen, you stand a good chance of winning the game.

5.  “Make a run for the border.”  Often, when I’m losing, I rush one of my pawns to the opponent’s end of the board.  If I succeed, I can turn that pawn into a queen!  ( Or into a rook, a bishop, or a knight. )

Your opponent’s queen can stop your pawn, as he ‘makes a run for the border’.  But your biggest enemy, in this strategy, will likely be your opponent’s rook.  If your opponent parks his rook at his end of the board, his rook can capture any pawn that you send there.

However, for your opponent’s rook to capture your pawn ( at his end of the board ), that rook must be unobstructed.  For instance, if your opponent’s bishop is in the way of his rook, then his rook won’t be able to capture your pawn.

You may need to sacrifice one or two of your pieces to get rid of your opponent’s rook.  That is, when your pawn is ‘making a run for the border’, try to create a killing spree.  ( Or, in polite language, a ‘capture spree’. )  You need to get rid of your opponent’s rook!  

Also, be willing to suffer casualties as your pawn ‘makes a run for the border’.  I let my opponent capture my other pieces as I rush my pawn ‘to the border’.

SUMMARY

1.  Watch the diagonal files.

2.  Always go for your opponent’s queen.

3.  Rush one of your pawns to your opponent’s end of the board, so that pawn can become a queen!  

Then you, too, can call yourself a ( Junior ) Grand Master.