can I add on
1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 signs you're not a good chess player
How are we ever going to reach 10^27 (1 octillion) signs? Just use “1,000,000,000,000 Signs You’re not a Very Good Chess Player“.
In the 1 Trillion Signs.

Bishops can only move diagonally, so they always stay on the same color square.
Yeah that's what I was saying, you try to get a king on and white square with a bishop that moves only on black squares.

29. You try to promote a pawn to a king.
30. You never use the knight because its moves are 'too complicated'.

The one thing is that a knight moves in a 2-1 L shape and also jumps.
Yes, I know that, but I see some chess players who consider moving the knight to be illegal for some reason. Many people do have confusion with the knight, but once you get the hang of it, then it's very easy. Now I just know where the knight can move without thinking about it.
1. You get your queen captured within the first 5 moves of your game
2. You move your king on the 6th move
3. It takes you 1 hour to solve a mate in 2 puzzle
4. You lose 100 rapid games in a row
5. You don't know what a stalemate is
6. You get eight pawns captured while trying to promote to a queen
7. You lose against a 100 rated player
8. Your rating is 100
9. You search 'how to get better at chess' and then think 'this is complete nonsense'
10. You get checkmated on the tenth move
11. You spend 2 hours trying to castle while you are in check
12. You call the rook a castle or tower
13. You ask for a bigger board
14. You get a rook captured in the first 5 moves of the game
15. You get both rooks captured in the first ten moves of the game
16. You open with 1. f3
17. Your response to 1. f3 e4 or 1. f3 e3 is 2. g4
18. You try to move your king two squares forward to escape from checkmate
19. You report your opponent for cheating when they do en passant
20. You mistake your queen for a king
21. You use your king as a queen
22. You defend your queen
23. You don't know what an illegal move is
24. You don't know what pawn promotion is