1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 signs you're not a good chess player

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vamsim7

1. You get your queen captured within the first 5 moves of your game 

2. You move your king on the 6th move

3. It takes you 1 hour to solve a mate in 2 puzzle

4. You lose 100 rapid games in a row

5. You don't know what a stalemate is

6. You get eight pawns captured while trying to promote to a queen

7. You lose against a 100 rated player

8. Your rating is 100

9. You search 'how to get better at chess' and then think 'this is complete nonsense'

10. You get checkmated on the tenth move

11. You spend 2 hours trying to castle while you are in check

12. You call the rook a castle or tower

13. You ask for a bigger board

14. You get a rook captured in the first 5 moves of the game

15. You get both rooks captured in the first ten moves of the game

16. You open with 1. f3

17. Your response to 1. f3 e4 or 1. f3 e3 is 2. g4

18. You try to move your king two squares forward to escape from checkmate

19. You report your opponent for cheating when they do en passant

20. You mistake your queen for a king

21. You use your king as a queen

22. You defend your queen

23. You don't know what an illegal move is

24. You don't know what pawn promotion is

Gymstar

can I add on

vamsim7
Gymstar074600 wrote:

can I add on

Yes, anyone can add on.

Gymstar

you say you know how to play and then ask how to move the pieces

aa45a4

25. you get checkmated like this:

 

zisal2029

How are we ever going to reach 10^27 (1 octillion) signs? Just use “1,000,000,000,000 Signs You’re not a Very Good Chess Player“.

vamsim7

27. You open your game like this:

 

zisal2029

Already we said about the Barnes Opening.

zisal2029

In the 1 Trillion Signs.

vamsim7

28. You try to check the opponent king on a white square with a bishop that moves on black squares.

zisal2029

Bishops can only move diagonally, so they always stay on the same color square.

vamsim7
zisal2029 wrote:

Bishops can only move diagonally, so they always stay on the same color square.

Yeah that's what I was saying, you try to get a king on and white square with a bishop that moves only on black squares.

vamsim7

29. You try to promote a pawn to a king. 

30. You never use the knight because its moves are 'too complicated'.

zisal2029

The one thing is that a knight moves in a 2-1 L shape and also jumps.

vamsim7
zisal2029 wrote:

The one thing is that a knight moves in a 2-1 L shape and also jumps.

Yes, I know that, but I see some chess players who consider moving the knight to be illegal for some reason. Many people do have confusion with the knight, but once you get the hang of it, then it's very easy. Now I just know where the knight can move without thinking about it.

vamsim7

31. You think that you can capture your own pieces.

swordblade88

https://www.chess.com/variants/capture-anything

LOL

Cruxter

If we assume this will get one comment per second which this will never get, it will take nearly 31,688,087,814,028,950,237(31quintillion) years to reach that number, until then chess will be solved, chess wouldn't exist anymore, I doubt even humans will exist or not.

JTHXYZ

you play 10 to the power of a billion moves and end up like this :

 

JTHXYZ

lol