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137. You don't think of Napoleon as primarily a chess player.
139. You think the queen only move on white cases in nowadays normal chess (ie, not in a variant.)
140. You think this is monopoly, and that you can buy squares to get your properties. You then ask your opponenent, "Where's the money to buy the properties??"
141. You buy extra chess pieces to put on the board
When you checkmate somebody, you tell their king to go directly to jail and do not pass go.
You ask the person your playing how the horsee moves?
145. You like monopoly more than chess.
146. you don't like violence against queen and king. instead you demonstrate peacefully against monarchy.
147. you take pieces by jumping over them with your queen
148. you use your chess board as dinner tray
149. you call the police if someone wants to play bullet with you
150. you try to feed the horsies
151. if your opponent says check, you say "I raise by 50 bucks"
152. you try to cure the bishop from his obsessive-compulsive disorder, because he online steps on fields with equal color
153. you think its pervert to beat the queen
154. You never met a premature queen user.
155. You don't understand why the king is not more powerfull than the queen.
156. You think zugzwang is the german word for a mishit golf shot
157. You think zwischenzug is the german word for switcheroo
156.Your opponent says checkmate and you think check got married.
157. You play chess with checkers pieces.
158. You insist on promoting your pawn to a fox. Hey! dumb horses are allowed...
159. You call rooks "castles" 160. You think that "check" means to check the board for queen threats 161. You call knights "horseys" or "horse" 162. You insist that having adjacent kings is perfectly legal 163. You checkmate by putting your king adjacent to your opponent's king and think it is checkmate because your king is protected164. You get mated by Fool's Mate 165. You get mated by Scholar's Mate166. You think queens can move in L shapes167. You insist on promoting to another king168. You think you have to checkmate the queen169. You take the queen over the king170. You think chess notation is some kind of spy code171. You think you can escape checkmate172. You capture pieces like you would in a game of checkers173. You use checkers to replace the pawns you are missing174. You don't know who Magnus Carlsen is174. You call youself a GM when you reach a rating of 750175. You play chess like giveaway176. The only way you can win is to be loud and distract your opponent
you hit your opponent whenever he wins you.
177. You waste your time deciding which pawn to push.
178. Your pawn reaches the back rank and you proudly proclaim, "King me!"
180. White plays 1. e4 and you resign, thinking you're in zugzwang.
181. Your online chess rating is still 1200.
"Bilbao Masters Daily Review Round 10 and RECAP | with GMs Yermolinsky and Sokolov"
7/23/2016 - Kamikaze Chess
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