1000 signs you're not a very good chess player

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Avatar of tylerskim

3996. You write random "signs" so you could be the one to get to 4000.

 

Avatar of tylerskim

3997. You use the diamond opening.

Avatar of tylerskim

3998. You've never played a chess game before and spend all your time on the forums.

Avatar of tylerskim

3999. You blunder your rook on move 2.

Avatar of hotcrystal1

4000!!!!. this happens:

 

Avatar of Checknologist

4001 (gosh i haven't done this since so long):

You're too busy texting your friends to realize that you have 2 seconds left on your clock.

Avatar of EnergeticHay

4002 you're playing 15 second games on your phone

Avatar of EnergeticHay

4003 you use a trackpad to play bullet

Avatar of Sammy_Thechessboy

4005: you play a game of bullet and you go to the bathroom and be afk while the game's in progress

Avatar of Sammy_Thechessboy

you always play Nd4 to oppose the Linksspringer Variation

and then you resign bc your opponent played c3

Avatar of Jason169

4007, You got confused Mate (win) with Stalemate (draw) and Selfmate (Lose)

 

Avatar of maryThompson1

Hi, i am new here , hoping to meet new friends

Avatar of Bgabor91

Dear Chessfriend,

My name is Gabor Balazs. I am a Hungarian FM, fighting for the IM title. My top ELO is 2435. I have been playing chess for 21 years. I won the Hungarian Rapid Championship twice (U16 and U18).

I love teaching chess and it is very important for me that both of us enjoy the lessons beside the hard work. I have pupils almost all the levels from beginners to advanced players (1100-2200 ELO).

You can see a lot of feedbacks from my coaching services here: https://www.chess.com/forum/view/chess-lessons/feedbacks-from-my-services

Why should you choose me?

- I have a widespread opening repertoire (a lot of openings are analysed by strong Grand Masters).

- I have a lot of chess books in PDF and Chessbase format, so I can teach you the main middlegame plans, the art of calculations, famous chess games and the endgame theory.

- I have elaborated, personalized training plans, which help you to improve your skills effectively.

- I help you analyse your games deeply, so you can realise your mistakes and learn from them.

- I am really flexible and hard-working person, the quality of my work is really important for me.

- My lessons are on Skype or Zoom with webcam and screensharing. (Skype ID: balazs.gabor91 ; Zoom ID: balazsgabor1991@gmail.com)

- I give homeworks, so you can also practice alone and I check your solutions in my free time.

- I answer your messages within 1 day, I am not the type of coach who disappears for a week after the lesson.

My hourly rate is 35 USD/hour.

Please, contact me (balazsgabor1991@gmail.com), if you are interested in working with me, I am looking forward to your message. happy.png

Avatar of secretninjaTU18

4008. You use a 100 square foot mousepad to play bullet.

Avatar of secretninjaTU18

4009. You think bullet is where you fire bullets at the enemy pieces

Avatar of secretninjaTU18

4010. You hate your pieces more than your opponents when you do the fools mate

Avatar of hotcrystal1

4016. This happens:

 

Avatar of defaultusername_9

4021. You think the title of GM means Gaming Memes

Avatar of defaultusername_9
chessnoob4151 wrote:

4018. you rage for 2 hours and break your computer after this happens

is it just my internet or the chess board puzzle/position is actually not there

Avatar of hotcrystal1
chessnoob4151 wrote:

4019. your username is chessnoob4151

Are you a chess noob