1000 things a dumb chess player would do

301. Tries to capture a pawn when his king is in check.

If you know the theory about grob attack against an unprepared opponent( the grob attack is good) 

Or the improved fool ones 

306. You play grob thinking it's good, but you don't know the theory

307. king gets taken but keep playing

308 you play this position as white but still losing 

309. Resigns the game when he could checkmate on the next move.

310. checks other player while your in check

311. Played a game with 0% accuracy.

311. Thinks the queen can also make knight moves

I didn’t see the next page ._.

314. cant count and thinks 311 is after 313

315: Thinks that the queen can move to any square.

316.

Doesn't weaponize the discussion of politics as a tool to distract and enrage their opponent.

317. Thinks that knight is the most powerful peice in chess.

319. Makes multiple king and rook moves just to castle

Turn the rest of his pawns into queens when all of his opponents pieces are gone and get a draw.

Hahaha I've seen this.