1000 things a dumb chess player would do

320 Goes to make a move and knocks all the pieces over and onto the floor

321 Challenges someone to play her blindfolded, then promptly smacks her hand into the table corner and cries

322 Tries to run down the clock on his move

323. Misspells 'piece'.

324. Eats 48539599137465 chicken nuggets in a day

325. gets stoned and then still expects to checkmate every game

326. eats 23456765456765676565654564345676543234567 chicken wings in a day

327. Doesn't know how to castle.

Says "A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a Horse!" as a player swaps a King for a Knight.

329. Doesn't bring a high-powered assault rifle in case of a losing position

He steals the clock to flag his opponent

69: he would checkmate opponent, only to realize he checkmated himslef

332. Plays chess once a month.

One thing a dumb chess player would do (definitely not me) is definitely sacrifice the queen and not because it was trapped in by 5 different pieces. 

335. Doesn't want to checkmate his opponent.

336.Promotes his pawn to a rook and castles vertically.

337. play chess like checkers

As a dumb 780 I can admit that I see people still hanging the Queen to the most obvious tatics in existence.

Anyway, 338. They hang their queen more times than there are stars in the universe in 1 game.

Taking a Queen with a knight instead of a pawn is a pretty stupid move. ngl. I did it once. 

340. Doesn't number their response