1000 things a dumb chess player would do

1. get fools mated

Edit- The person who posts the 1000th dumb thing a chess player would do gets 20 awards

2. he thought he won when he stalemated someone

3. he never played standard chess he always played variants

That's 3 things

5) When eating at a restaurant, he might use the salt shaker to capture the pepper pot en passant.

7. He asks you if you're Australian because you said "checkmate"

9. He moves his bishop verdically and takes your king.

11. Swallows pieces he captured

LOL

12. He loses because he always forgets to hit the clock

14. double click & misclick the draw button and accidently resgin

13. Main openings: The powerful 1. h4 and of course the always trustworthy 1. a4

A dumb chess player would move his knights in Al’s of all shapes and sizes 

16. unironically play the wayward queen attack or crab

17. [mod edit: removed inappropriate comment - JG].

18. Fork the queen, king, and rook but take the rook

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