1000 Worst Things To Do While Burning Beans

77. Burn beans after tweeting the burned beans.  Cheep beans - pricing so low, it'll have these burnt beans flying off the shelves!
"They were out of parakeets, so I got you these burned beans instead, son, to go with your tacos."
"Should be a real tweet, dad..." 

78. Burn beans after beating the burned beans.  "Don't be a macho-macho-bean! Just beat it. Wanna stay alive, better do what you can, just beat it, bean it, beat it, bean it, just BEEEEEEEEEEE-ANT it! And cheese it! And sneeze zits! And Burrrrrrritoes!"

79. Burn beans after overheating the burned beans. "You know, Cindy, these burned beans are really cold after you took them off the heat.  Isn't there anything we can do about that?  Can I maybe use this blowtorch, here?"

"Hey Cindy, can you grab a glass of water, the dining room table's on fire again..."

80. Burn beans after completing the burned beans. "Oh man, what a day I've had; man, I've been trying to burn these beans for the last six hours.  Whew! Hey, anybody got a beer and a sofa I could borrow? I think I finally finished burning the beans. I'm going to bed early tonight.  Yeah, you guys finish them if you want... I'm just burnt out."
"I finished them five minutes ago; make more beans, dad, or I'll fart on you, dad!"

81. Burn beans after defeating the burned beans. "Hah! Rematch, loser bean! I burnt you again, didn't I?  You didn't stand a slimy little chance...You're just a has-bean...I'm the new legume in town, bud."

82. Burn beans after repeating the burned beans. "100 bottles of burned beans on the wall, 100 bottles of burned beans, take one down, pass it around, 99 bottles of burned beans on the wall... And so on. You get the idea.  Yeah, you, nerd..."

Or the Philip Glass version - Oh! The excitement of it all!:
100 bottles of burned beans, burned beans, 100 bottles of burned beans, 100 bottles of burned beans, burned beans, 100 bottles of burned beans, burned beans...
100 bottles of burned beans, burned beans, 100 bottles of burned beans, 100 bottles of burned beans, burned beans, 100 bottles of burned beans, burned beans...
Repeat precisely 1,000 times varying between forte and pochissimo piu forte.
99 bottles of burned beans, burned beans, 99 bottles of burned beans, 99 bottles of burned beans, burned beans, 99 bottles of burned beans, burned beans...
99 bottles of burned beans, burned beans, 99 bottles of burned beans, 99 bottles of burned beans, burned beans, 99 bottles of burned beans, burned beans...
Repeat precisely 1,000 times varying between forte and pochissimo piu forte.
Continue in this manner until the end of the song. 

83. Burn beans after mistreating the burned beans.  "Please, Panchita, you need to treat them with an icepack and seek medical attention from a tamale immediately.  Are there any molcajetes here who can help, these beans need to see a doctor, pronto!  And we need to smush these little guys up, Panchita, they're starting to talk about me funny."

84. Burn beans after exceeding the treating of the stove-top electrical heating thereby inducing a firemen's meeting after eating the burned beans. "All right there, son, don't jump out that window just yet, fire crew's here to chew on this situation just a bit..."

85. Burn beans after exciting the burned beans. "Ooohh yeah, just take me into your lemon arms, BB King, I don't need a good raisin to love you!"
"Hey honey, just salad to me, baby, because I don't think I can leaf you
right now!"
"I won't chew the steak, all night long!" 
"Well, I think olive juice too, Beanoncé..."
"If you were ground coffee, BB, you'd be my espresso, cause you are just so fine..."
"Whoa, girl, I better phone the fire department, cause you're so hot!" 

86. Burn beans after fighting the burned beans. "BAM! BASH! BONG! BANG! BOMP! BONK! BOP! BWAK! WHANG!"
"Um, I think you killed them, Leroy.  They're dead. Now back to your homework." 
"No, they're not dead, yet; those were just some little black ants crawling up your coffee cup..." 

87. Burn beans after sighting the burned beans!  "I saw them!  I really did! It was like this UFBB, man! (unidentified flying burned bean!) That thing had wings and it flew over the lake. You had to have bean there, man..."
"Well, I see you're a highly dedicated individual, highly medicated indeed, but what are you doing flying my drone over the lake?"

88. Burn beans after delighting the burned beans with great chess moves:
4. Bb4#!
"Yippee!" 

89. Burn beans after knighting the burned beans - jeez, talk about an underpromotion - no burnt bean wants to be just a knight - a burnt bean always wants to be king.

90. Burning some more beans on Tuesdays.

91. Burning your greens with your burnt beans.

92. Burning Mr. Green Jeans and Captain Kangaroo with your burnt beans.

Still looking for a job in the beans sector.

93. Singeing the song: "Mah Beans Have Never Ever Bean Butter"

94. Wondering if bluebirdbattery is still around? I thought I saw him post the other day? Could I have been hallucinating from eating too many burnt beans?

im alive